It’s expensive enough to be a wedding guest, but how would you react if a couple set a minimum “price” on your cash-only gift?
That’s the conundrum one Reddit user found themselves in after a bride and groom informed their guests that they should pay a “minimum of £250 cash” as a wedding gift. The couple added that if guests don’t plan to follow that rule, they shouldn’t come at all.
The user turned to the popular Reddit page Am I The A**hole to get public opinion on the “inappropriate” request, and to ask if it’s truly a Belgian “custom” as the bride claimed.
The wedding guest explained that they were flying out to Belgium from the U.K. to attend “a very close friend’s” wedding next March. The guest was already planning on bringing a thoughtful gift but was shocked after hearing the bride’s demands.
“I was told I had to bring a minimum of £250 cash as my wedding gift to them. I was shocked by this as that’s a lot of money, especially considering that I have to fly out and get a hotel,” wrote the user. “When I questioned her about this, she said it was the bare minimum every guest had to bring and that anyone who didn’t wasn’t allowed into the wedding. This has me shocked, as that’s….extremely rude, right?”
Upon hearing the request, the Reddit user told the bride that “it wasn’t really appropriate to make such demands of her guests” and that they weren’t comfortable paying such a large amount for a gift.
Instead of being understanding, the bride “brushed it off, saying it was normal and customary in Belgium as all the money goes towards getting the newlyweds a house.”
Although the Reddit user understood that they would rather have the wedding gift go towards buying a house, she questioned the legitimacy of the so-called “custom,” especially since the wedding had 97 guests coming.
With that math, the bride and groom would be raking in over £24,000 from their guests.
The Reddit user has since done their research on the matter and hasn’t seen anything about such a tradition in Belgium.
Eventually, the Reddit user put their foot down and informed the bride that they would not be coming since they didn’t feel comfortable paying such a large amount.
“She’s been freaking out online over my disrespect of her customs and my rudeness in questioning her and even crying to other friends about how I’m trying to spite her day,” wrote the Reddit user. “…am I out of line for not feeling comfortable with this?”
Most of the commenters reassured the original poster that they were not out of line, while other self-proclaimed Belgians said this isn’t how their “custom” works.
One user wrote, “that’s not a custom. Sounds like she figured out the cost per person and tacked on additional money to profit off her wedding. Tacky.”
The original poster replied to the comment saying, “If it was like a high-end event I could understand, I wouldn’t like it, but I’d understand, but I know for a fact it’s not catered and all the family and friends are bringing various dishes from home for the reception which is fine but when you expect this on top of that?”
The comment had people even more baffled by the bride’s request.
One person wrote, “Wait. It’s a POTLUCK, and she wants £250 per person?!?! LOLOL. No.”
“Hi, Belgian here,” wrote another user. “What is custom in Belgium: giving money for a wedding (because it is expensive). However, a physical gift is always nice and appreciated,” read their comment. “HOWEVER: your ‘friend’ is straight up lying to you. I never ever heard of a gift minimum here.”
“Agree. There is no such thing as a minimum,” wrote another user. “The polite thing to do is if you give cash to cover the average cost of your meal and something more, or give a physical gift of a decent value emotional/price.”
Do you think the bride’s request was inappropriate?
This article’s cover image was used for illustrative purposes only.