A bride-to-be has shared her frustration at a friend refusing not to bring her children to a child-free wedding.
Taking to popular forum Mumsnet, the woman, posting as Flamingomonkey, asked for advice. The woman explained that she is booking her wedding with her partner, and they have decided to only have children attend who are immediate family.
“I have a friend who has told me she’ll be bringing her children as mine will be there so it’s unfair not to invite hers,” she wrote.
“A mutual friend got married a couple of years back, also a child-free wedding, and she made the whole thing a nightmare then but as our friend didn’t have children herself she accepted it.”
According to the bride, keeping the wedding child-free is not unreasonable and keeps the costs of the big day down. She is now, she explained, considering uninviting the unobliging friend “to save myself the headache,” which she wasn’t quite so sure was unreasonable.
Prices of weddings have begun increasing in the U.S. again, after a brief price fall in 2020, likely thanks to COVID-19. In 2019, weddings averaged to around $28,000 according to data from The Knot, but fell to $19,000 in 2020. In 2021, the average price climbed back up to $22,500.
The post amassed more than 150 responses since being shared on Wednesday. Overwhelmingly, the responses to the bride’s inter-friendship dilemma weighed heavily on her side, with some even suggesting she flat-out un-invites the friend.
“Make it absolutely clear that the only options open to her are to attend without her children or not attend at all. If she won’t accept that, take her off the list,” suggested one user.
“The cost of the child is neither here nor there. You are allowed to simply not want to invite children to your wedding. End of. Same way as your invitees are welcome to attend nor not attend,” added another.
One user agreed, writing: “I understand the no children thing. If they are your own, you know how they’ll behave and have enough family around to help during the important bits. The problem with other people’s children is the unpredictable part. Who wants their wedding ruined by some bratty child that’s ignored by a parent or a baby screaming through the vows…yes some are angels…and some are not. Uninvite the friend. It’s your wedding.”
Others, however, despite being far rarer, disagreed with the bride and the idea of a child-free wedding to begin with.
“I think it’s a bit off to have some children but not all children invited. I went to a wedding like this a while ago and the thought I had was ‘oh you didn’t want a childfree wedding, you just didn’t want my children there,'” wrote one person.
“I understand childfree weddings but if you have some and not others then you’re saying that those people’s children matter less to you (maybe that’s true but also expect people to be hurt by that). I think you’d be surprised by how many people will avoid bringing their children to a wedding without you having to say it.”
The bride concluded that she told the friend “it’s an invitation not a summons and if the invitation doesn’t suit her she can decline.”