The internet has bashed a bride for refusing to let her brother’s stepdaughter attend her wedding.
Published on Reddit’s r/AmITheA**hole forum, a man under the anonymous username u/aitadad83772 shared his story in order to receive the opinions of the “AITA” community.
The original poster (OP) began his story by explaining that he has two children. He has one biological 6-year-old named “Alicia” and a 14-year-old stepdaughter named “Marissa.” He explains that his wife, “Natalie,” has an ex who is a “narcissistic a**hole” and since Natalie works long hours, OP and Marissa have become really close.
OP’s sister, “May,” is getting married and he is the best man. May asked if Alicia could be the flower girl and also wanted her nephews to be involved as well. Every niece and nephew is invited to May’s wedding, however, this is considered a child-free wedding.
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The Redditor explained that Marissa was not invited to the wedding. While he understands not having her be part of the wedding party, having every child in the family there except Marissa didn’t seem fair.
OP wrote, “I tried to talk to May about it, but it’s gone poorly. She thinks it’s fine, that Marissa doesn’t have a role so there [is] no reason to bring her, that she doesn’t want more children at the wedding, that she ‘barely knows’ Marissa so it’s ‘not the same’ as Alicia.”
Above, a bride and groom walk down the aisle holding hands. Published to Reddit’s r/AmITheA**hole forum, a bride has been slammed after she refused to invite her brother’s stepdaughter to her wedding.
EkaterinaPichukova/iStock / Getty Images Plus
“So it would be me, Nat and Alicia there, as well as all the cousins, but Marissa has to stay home. While I can kind of see where she’s coming from, I don’t agree at all. I told May that if she excludes Marissa, Alicia and I won’t be coming. She’s furious about me not supporting her, losing the [flower girl] and best man and thinks I’m being selfish,” he continued.
OP wrote that his family has been “badgering him” about him not attending the wedding but he argued that it was his choice as it was May’s choice to make the wedding a child-free one. He refuses to treat Marissa like an “outsider” in the family.
Newsweek reached out to u/aitadad83772 for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.
Newsweek has published several articles regarding the topic of weddings including a bride who didn’t invite her half-sister to her wedding over a parent feud, a groom who had his mother-in-law leave his wedding because of her perfume and a man who didn’t let his girlfriend go to her sister’s wedding.
Pros and cons of child-free weddings
Waverly Coleman, an expert wedding planner, told Newsweek about the pros and cons of having a child-free wedding: “As someone with a child, the main pro is you can be present! While children are a blessing, they’re also a major responsibility and who wants to be responsible at a party? Their safety is most important.”
She also discussed some cons of child-free weddings including the “no-shows” due to guilt or not being able to find a babysitter in time.
“Love is one of the greatest experiences and so a con (to me) would be not having some children there to witness love between two people and their families. It’s so important that I expose myself and my family to love and culture so I probably will allow children at only my wedding ceremony,” she said.
She also said that couples should do what’s best for them as it’s their wedding day. Weddings are a huge expense and guests should extend grace and understanding to those who choose not to have children at their wedding.
Redditor responses
“[Not the a**hole]. But May definitely is [the a**hole]. ‘No children’ is fine. ‘No children except nieces and nephews’ is fine but ‘no children except nieces and nephews but not including that one’ is ridiculously arbitrary and just plain nasty,” u/AbstractUnicorn wrote, receiving the top comment of over 9,000 upvotes.
“[Not the a**hole] If she rejects your family, it is reasonable to not tolerate that,” u/sqitten stated.
“[Not the a**hole] your sister sounds like the traditional ‘mean girl,’ hurting people for their own amusement. Your family sticking up for her shows where she gets that behavior from. She doesn’t want kids at her wedding but doesn’t sound mature enough to be at her own wedding. Tell her to knock off the bridezilla drama. You’ve given your answer she needs to accept it,” u/Bondo_Wallace explained.
“[Not the a**hole]. Everyone has the right to organize their wedding how they see fit. But if they think everyone has to be ok with it, they are delusional,” u/Maca87 commented.
Has a wedding come between your relationship with a loved one? Let us know via [email protected]. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.