One bride’s wedding planning has not been the experience she was hoping for — all thanks to her maid of honor, who she calls “a headache.”
The bride may not even be able to enjoy her wedding day after her maid of honor revealed her plans for the speech she is going to deliver to the guests.
Now, the woman is wondering if she made a mistake choosing her friend as the maid of honor.
The maid of honor wants to bring up the bride’s exes in her wedding speech, an idea the woman is uncomfortable with.
Sharing her dilemma on the subreddit thread, r/weddingdrama, the bride-to-be sought advice from other users, asking how she should handle the situation.
She began her post by recalling that her maid of honor has been difficult since she got engaged and is turning her wedding planning into a nightmare.
She claims that her best friend “manipulated” her into choosing her to fill the important position.
“She can be a bit manipulative and basically gave me an ultimatum that if I chose someone else as a maid of honor it would ‘complicate and lead to mistrust within the friendship,’” the woman wrote.
Her best friend has been anything but helpful throughout the entire process.
When the woman gifted her and her other two bridesmaids gift boxes thanking them for taking part in her wedding, her friend was disappointed that she did not receive a more expensive gift since she was maid of honor.
She criticizes the wedding budget, telling her friend that she needs to “ball out” for the big day, spending at least $50,000 when the woman’s budget is $30,000. Additionally, she has provided no help with the actual wedding planning that is required with being maid of honor. The woman claims that the only positive experience she has had with her was when they went wedding dress shopping and she helped her pick the one.
To make matters worse, her prepared speech for the wedding day has the woman on edge.
“She keeps teasing how she is going to have the best speech at the wedding and how she’s going talk about all my exes before and how great I’m doing now by comparing my fiancé to my exes,” she wrote.
“She thinks it’s funny and I’ve told her numerous times I don’t like the idea and I don’t want to bring up exes at my wedding.”
However, her friend disagrees and informs her that she will not hear the speech until the wedding, disregarding the bride’s request to leave her exes out of it. Now she worries that she made a horrible mistake choosing her as maid of honor.
“I’ve been warned by other friends, family, (and even my fiancé) that my MOH is incredibly narcissistic but I didn’t see it until now,” the woman admits. “Not only has she been zero help with planning, but she’s been making me so anxious about the big day worrying she is going to give an embarrassing speech.”
She shares that her wedding day is a year away and has time to reconsider her decision and give the role to someone else, but she is worried about the consequences if she boots her best friend from her big day.
Redditors encouraged the woman to fire her best friend as maid of honor.
“You’ve been warned now act on it… throw her out, she’s no help and no friend,” one user commented. “She only does what’s in her best interest. Grow a spine, it’s your wedding and you need to surround yourself with people who take a load off you and not put extra on.”
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“Speaking as someone who doesn’t have friends: drop her,” another user advised. “I dropped my friends when they became toxic (or rather, showed their toxicity). My social life now consists solely of my family and acquaintances, and it gives me so much space to breathe!”
“I wouldn’t even want her at the wedding. She sounds like a disaster waiting to happen,” another user wrote. “About the speech, that’s the reason I wouldn’t want her at the wedding. Sounds like she’s wanting to be the main attraction and she’s warning you in advance that she’s going to have loose lips.”
“Given what she has already stated, she WILL make a scene at the wedding with her speech, and it will be embarrassing for you,” another user warned. “Do you really want that on your wedding day? Remove her from your wedding. This girl is not your friend.”
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.