March 13, 2023
A bride-to-be is causing controversy after she reportedly demanded that one of her bridesmaids undergo a specific procedure before her wedding.
The bridesmaid in question has psoriasis, a chronic skin condition that causes red, scaly patches to form on the skin. So how far should a bride go to ensure her bridesmaids look perfect on her big day? Here is the whole story.
Concern About Her Bridesmaids Scalp
A bride is in a predicament with one of her bridesmaids, “Aubrey,” who has heavy psoriasis on her scalp. Aubrey is self-conscious about her condition and has even requested to wear a long-sleeved bridesmaid dress at the wedding to conceal it.
The bride has no issue with the patches on Aubrey’s arms and legs “because they’re not red.” However, in recent months, psoriasis has developed on her scalp, and she has had to use a special shampoo to hide the patches and flakes.
So the bride is concerned that the flakes in Aubrey’s hair will make her look unkempt on the wedding day. She initially told the bridesmaids that they could do their hair and did not have to use her stylist, but with Aubrey, she feels it’s not too much to ask that she get treated.
The bride spoke to her stylist and found an associate specializing in treating psoriasis on the scalp. She offered to pay for the treatment, which would be done the day before the wedding.
The Aftermath of Asking Aubrey
Aubrey was embarrassed by the hurtful request and reminded the bride that the treatment was painful. The bride said she understood but that it was Aubrey’s choice or she could do it herself.
She explained, “The stylist says she can do it in a way that may hurt a little as it’s removing a decent amount of plaque, but she’ll be gentle.” Aubrey refused and accused the bride of not being a true friend for not accepting her as is.
Aubrey has ghosted the bride, refusing all calls or texts since the conversation. The bride is now wondering if she made an unreasonable request and if she hurt her friend’s feelings. Here is how the internet responded.
Bride’s Request Was Unsympathetic
Someone with psoriasis explained that they understand the pain and discomfort that can come with the condition, particularly on the scalp. However, they also mentioned that it is something one cannot control, where it develops, and how badly.
They felt that the bride’s request was unsympathetic and that it added to the self-consciousness that the bridesmaid already had. They suggested that the bride should do some research on psoriasis before trying to have empathy for her friend.
Someone compared the bride’s request to asking someone with severe acne to undergo a painful procedure to remove it just for the sake of a wedding. They expressed frustration with the ultimatum given by the bride, either going through the procedure or doing it yourself and questioning the true nature of the friendship.
A Dermatologist Weighed In
A Dermatologist shared that psoriasis is “VERY hard on people’s self-esteem and sufferers often arrange their life to avoid showing any rash in fear of the kinds of comments you are making. If she had control of psoriasis, she wouldn’t have it.”
She further noted, “Psoriasis treatment can be extremely irritating to the skin. A non-skin specialist treating the scalp may also end up pulling a lot of hair out to get rid of the scale- the scale is often attached tightly to the scalp and hair, so the hair comes out when combed vigorously.”
Finally, she explained that many patients with psoriasis need tablets or injections to control psoriasis because the creams aren’t enough. “So all the topicals in the world won’t help some people.”
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You Can’t Demand Someone Do Something With Their Hair
Another suggested that you can’t demand someone do something with their hair. “My sister tried to pull this, and I almost didn’t even come to the wedding. When she asked me to be a bridesmaid, I had purple hair. She assumed I’d go back to ‘normal’ hair, and when it was clear I wasn’t, she threw a fit.”
She further elaborated that she was ultimately kicked out of the wedding and rarely speaks to her sister now because of all the drama she made about everything. “If we weren’t siblings and just friends, we’d no longer be friends.”
What do you think? Was this Reddit bride completely out of line asking her bridesmaid to undergo a painful psoriasis treatment for her wedding aesthetics, or do you agree with the bride?
This article was inspired by the internet and does not necessarily reflect the views of The Budget Savvy Bride.
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