Every woman wants her special day to be perfect. The venue, the décor, the food, and the people in attendance should be exactly what she envisioned when she dreamed of getting married.
But one future bride has upset her entire family by sending out an exclusive wedding invite that others found very offensive.
The woman took to the AITA (Am-I-The-A—hole) forum on Reddit to share her story about her upcoming wedding and get feedback as to whether or not she did the right thing.
She started by telling readers that she is getting married in June so sent out invitations in January to make sure everyone she had invited had ample time to RSVP.
Because she’s having a destination wedding, the bride excluded ‘poorer relatives.’
The couple is tying the knot in the Dominican Republic and they are very much aware that due to the cost, everyone might not be able or willing to attend their nuptials. But despite that uncertainty about who could make it, the couple was dead set on having the wedding they wanted.
The bride also explained that the invitations they sent out were pricey. Because of that, she and her beloved opted to only send out the ones that were absolutely necessary, limited to the people they assumed could afford the expensive trip.
That decision, as expected, set off a firestorm of family and friends calling the woman out. Her mother even expressed her deep disappointment that her daughter would make such assumptions.
She told readers on the forum, “My mom says that I was rude to judge people by their income.” But she also clarified that her intention was not to be judgmental but to pick and choose the people she thought had the finances to pay for attending the wedding. That sounds a lot like judging.
The confused bride doesn’t understand why everyone is making such a big deal out of it.
Reddit users, however, seemed to side with her disgruntled relatives. The top comment, upvoted almost 19,000 times read, “At the time my (former) best friend got married, he’d apparently decided on a destination wedding in Nepal, as his wife-to-be was Nepalese.”
He continued, “I’d known him for some 30 years at this point, so it was just assumed that I’d be the best man whenever the day came. I found out that not only was I not the best man but that I wasn’t invited to the wedding either because I was also perceived as ‘poor.’”
Wedding invites truly are a double-edged sword. People want to be invited and feel slighted if they are not. On the other hand, when invites go out, the future newlyweds can get upset if they want you there, but you can’t attend.
Travel prices are going up, but people are still opting for destination weddings, potentially leaving people that should be present behind.
Travel prices are up at least 9% since the same time last year. 44% of people surveyed by Spareroom admit to turning down wedding invites for financial reasons. A whopping 66% of those who declined to go ended up losing friends over it.
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In 2022, the rate of inflation was 6.5% since the prior year, creating financial struggles for many. Nevertheless, the market for destination weddings continued to grow, increasing by 34.9% and showing no signs of slowing.
So it seems that weddings will continue to separate the ‘haves’ from the ‘have-nots.’ Those who are presumed to be ‘too poor’ to go will be left out and hurt, while those considered ‘well off’ and invited will feel immense pressure to live up to their financially secure reputations.
NyRee Ausler is a writer from Seattle, Washington, and author of seven books. She covers lifestyle and entertainment and news, as well as navigating the workplace and social issues.