A bride is being called “immature” after forbidding her future mother-in-law from dictating her wedding look.
In a post to the “r/AmITheA–hole” (AITA), a forum where people try to figure out if they were in the wrong in a conflict, she detailed how the conflict ensued.
In her post, she detailed how the groom’s mother has been acting as “supervisor” during their wedding planning.
But when she demanded to even control the bride’s makeup and overall wedding “look,” that was the last straw.
The bride’s “conservative” future mother-in-law has been overseeing every aspect of the wedding.
She writes that her fiancé’s mom appointed herself the supervisor of the planning of their wedding in order to “‘catch and eliminate’ anything that could be seen as offensive.”
It all began with the bride’s dress, a process that became a “fiasco” when she was commanded to “get a dress that wasn’t showing too much ‘skin’.”
Next came her makeup, which became an even bigger problem.
When she showed her fiancé some ideas she had for her look, she writes that he “gasped and said his mom would have a stroke.”
Next thing she knew, her fiancé’s mom was sending her idea pictures of models “with almost no makeup or light makeup. No eyeshadow, no glowy lipstick just…plain.”
When she refused to choose from those options, an argument ensued—which led her fiancé to accuse her of planning to humiliate him and his family by looking like a “clown.”
A wedding, of course, is about the bride, not the groom’s mother, and the Redditor told her fiancé exactly that.
She says she, “snapped and called him delusional to think I’ll let his mom get a say in what makeup I should wear since it’s my face.”
Her fiancé countered that “there’s no such thing as ‘mine’ and ‘yours’ in marriage and that I’m clearly too ‘immature’ for it.”
Now her fiancé is avoiding her, while his mother insists she has her best interests at heart.
Most commenters agreed that the bride’s future mother-in-law was way out of line.
And for many of them, it went much further than that—they told her not to even have the wedding at all. As one put it, “abort mission, I repeat, abort mission.”
One user bluntly wrote, “Do not marry this person. Do not marry this person. Do NOT marry this person. Unless you really wanna marry his mom, because that’s [who is] calling all the shots here.”
Another took her fiancé to task, writing, “Him letting his mother call the shots is one strike… agreeing with his mother…strike two…. calling her a clown? STRIKE THREE.”
Several others blamed the groom as well.
One person commented, “do yourself a favor and slam the brakes on this wedding.”
“Your fiancé cares more about what his mommy and family think than you and is now avoiding you because you stood firm on what you wanted.”
Another called out the groom for believing “there is no such thing as ‘mine’ and ‘yours’ when it literally comes to someone’s body or face.”
For others, it wasn’t the wedding that alarmed them but the future the bride was effectively choosing by going forward with it.
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One described being “married to a Mama’s boy for nearly 20 years,” warning that, “it doesn’t get any better with time.”
Another bluntly called the dynamics at play abuse, commenting “this is 100% the start of a very bad story. You will regret the ending.”
And one commenter cut right to the heart of the matter, writing, “I’m on my internet knees begging you not to marry this person.”
“Do you like what’s happening right now? Because if you marry this person, this is what the rest of your life will be like.”
John Sundholm is a news and entertainment writer who covers pop culture, social justice and human interest topics.