A woman has been slammed online after she shared a furious reaction to her uncle’s plans to bring his partner to her wedding.
In a viral post shared on the U.K.-based discussion website Mumsnet, which can be seen here, user Sophiemoulds1999 explained she and her fiancé were planning to have a “small intimate wedding.”
She added the wedding would start at 5 p.m. and end at 11 p.m. before going on to explain that immediate family and closest friends would be invited. Best friends would have a plus one.
But the bride-to-be said an uncle who lives in Spain had planned to bring his girlfriend, despite the fact she was not invited.
A stock image of a bride on the phone. The bride-to-be was slammed online.
Zoe Burke, leading wedding expert, and editor of Hitched.co.uk, told Newsweek: “It’s not uncommon for couples planning a wedding to feel some pressure to invite people to their big day who they would actually rather not have there.
“In a recent survey of our community, we found that almost three-quarters of those currently in the midst of wedding planning admitted to feeling forced to invite someone they didn’t want to their wedding.
“We also found that in more than 90 percent of the cases, the pressure came directly from the couple’s close friends and family, just like this poor bride,” she added.
Meanwhile, the Mumsnet user added: “I replied a day later explaining how small the wedding was and how we were not accommodating for plus ones, etc. He replied to tell me they had already booked flights and hotels and had spent £500 ($608) on doing so.
“He also said he would have never assumed she wouldn’t be invited as they have been together for two years. I literally don’t speak to him haven’t spoken in years so was a silly assumption to make,” she said.
The bride-to-be continued: “I’ve told my uncle how my partner has not invited close family due to having such an intimate wedding and that just seems to have gone over his head. I’m now really pissed off because I feel like him explaining how they’ve spent so much money is actually emotional blackmail.”
According to the Knot Real Weddings Study, the average wedding size in the U.S. in 2021 was 105 guests.
This was much higher than in 2020, a year defined by the COVID-19 pandemic, where the average was 66 guests. But it was still lower than the 2019 average of 131 people.
Since being shared online on Sunday, January 8, the post has attracted 161 replies, the overwhelming majority of which were critical of the position taken by the bride-to-be.
Mumsnet user Tandora said: “YABU (you are being unreasonable), it was a misunderstanding, don’t create a drama and enormous bad feelings with a family member. It’s one extra person and he’s offered to pay for the meal. Get over it. It’s lovely that he’s spent all that money and going to all that effort to be with you on your wedding.”
Merryoldgoat added: “I think most families invited to a wedding would assume a partner would be included. I think it was odd to ask him at all given it’s so intimate and you didn’t know he has a partner of two years: why didn’t you just leave it as fewer people?”
Nzeire posted: “It’s one person, he will be so much more comfortable with his partner there. You need to relax a little. He’s booked, it’s family. It will be lovely.
“I was invited to a wedding once, and I knew the bride was debating whether to ask my partner as she didn’t know him that well. If he hadn’t made the cut, I wouldn’t have gone. That’s the whole fun of being a wedding guest, a fab night out with your other half.”
But Burke told Newsweek the bride-to-be should hold firm and continue with her decision, adding: “Choosing which people to invite to your big day, and who to leave off the guestlist is a stressful task, and sometimes being subtle just doesn’t work.
“We launched an UN-invitation to help couples take the pressure off them having these conversations, but (sadly) it might be too late in this case so I would encourage this bride to really stand her ground.
“I would suggest that the bride tell her uncle that while it’s unfortunate they have already spent money on attending the wedding, there is only room for him on the big day, and perhaps offer to go for dinner or spend time with them outside of the wedding so their trip isn’t ‘wasted’.
“Alternatively, the bride could give some suggestions as to how the uncle’s partner could spend those few hours on the day while he is at the wedding, to show that all is not lost.
She concluded: “And if after all that he is still being unreasonable, then I would simply tell him that he is no longer welcome either, and wish him well on his holiday. Wedding planning is stressful enough, this sort of additional drama is just not needed when a couple is planning the most exciting day of their lives together.”