Everything I wish I knew.

Uh oh! How did we get here? One lousy month, you guys.

No, but I need to sit down. Take a sip of water (whiskey). Because it’s all going so quickly and there’s much to do and… have we organised white shirts for the groomsmen? WE HAVE NOT.

Watch: Speaking of weddings.. here are the best moments from Princess Eugene’s Royal wedding. Post continues below.

As we slink on closer, I’m becoming acutely aware that there are, in fact, a lot of things I really wish someone would’ve warned me about. You know – just to give me a heads up.

Because as it turns out, it’s … a lot. And there’s still so much to sort. Like, SO much haha (help) ha. 

Here are 7 things I wish someone had told me in the lead-up to my wedding.

1. You’ll receive a whole heap of invoices. All at once. And freak out. Because you didn’t budget.

Remember that time I started planning a wedding and didn’t budget properly? 

I do. 

Because sometimes you’re very bad with numbers and actually really hate Excel spreadsheets, so you rely on your sweet, noisy little mind to keep track of all the things you laid deposits down for. 

And that’s just silly.

Because when I was on the train this morning, I received the final invoice from my videographer, wedding cars and photographer all due at once – and now I’m kind of feeling like selling foot pics isn’t that weird.

2. All the things you were going to spend extra money on are now TOTALLY UNNECESSARY. 

If there’s one thing I was almost *certain* I would do when I locked in my venue and started planning, it was switching out the chairs they have in the reception and hiring some nicer ones. 

The chairs in question:

HOW DO WE FEEL ABOUT THIS. (never mind).

My wedding stylist (hey Mel!) had warned me that it’s an absolutely unnecessary extra cost to hire 200 chairs, and one of those things people usually end up not doing.


But now I’m all like, ‘They’re not that gross? They’re actually very comfy?? And have you felt the velvet? It’s lovely and soft…’

3. Your wedding dress fitting will be… terrifying.

Sometimes you take your wedding dress to get altered and explain to the seamstress that it’s a little long, and she pulls out scissors and CUTS YOUR VERY EXPENSIVE DRESS. Right on the spot. 

Like, I always thought they pinned it up first. Before cutting.

I also always thought my mum wouldn’t whisper ‘I can’t watch this’ and hide somewhere in the dress shop so she didn’t have to see my (“her”) money being snipped up in front of her eyes.

Also, I wish someone had told me I should know how to walk in my shoes before I try them on with my dress. Because a lot of ‘Please walk, so we can see if your dress is correct’ depends on knowing how to walk in your shoes. Which I do not, in fact, know how to do. 

They’re not tall or anything – they’re quite small and unassuming. But it turns out even small and unassuming shoes can be tricky.

Anyway, I’ve been asked to pick up my dress on the week of the wedding, and I’m totally fine with it and not even the slightest bit concerned ha ha ha. 

4. Many people won’t RSVP. We don’t know why, but they won’t.

They won’t! Really, they just won’t. Even when you made your due date February 14th, because it’s Valentine’s Day and it’s cute and romantic and how could anyone forget?! 

But now it’s past the date and I have to contact people and ask them if they want to come to my party because they didn’t… reply… 

Then I think of the weddings where I’ve missed the RSVP deadline (every single wedding), and I feel like a d**k.

5. Others will just add a plus one.

One thing I really didn’t expect was for people to actually, uh, do this. Sure, I’ve heard about it happening, but I honestly didn’t think anyone would actually DO it. And now it feels awkward. 

Because extra numbers and extra seats, and a face I don’t really know.

While I’m sure the person is lovely, I’d much rather have someone I… know? We! Someone we know there. Y’know? But I’m a people pleaser and I don’t like to make things uncomfortable so here we are.

6. There are eleven million small decisions that you won’t be able to make right up until the big day.

See: The coaches. The g’damn coaches. WILL SOMEONE TELL ME HOW MANY COACHES I’LL NEED?

There are so many little things that I can’t yet decide on because I’m waiting on numbers and winning the lottery, and it is stressful.

Especially when everyone keeps saying ‘it’s so soon! Everything organised?’ And you know what? It’s not all organised, Cheryl. I still have a lot of stuff to organise. And please, for the love of God – send me your RSVP.

7. The food tasting is actually very fun.

It is! Turns out I got all nervy and stressed about nothing! I went with my partner and we brought my father along with us because we wanted to try as many options as possible, but also – he’s a good time.

I honestly felt pretty anxious about it. Cause of the whole making-decisions-about-what-other-people-will-eat thing (I don’t even like making decisions about what I want to eat).

However, it was actually, unexpectedly, very fun and my goodness, this isn’t a normal three-course meal, it’s a wedding meal.

Delicious food aside (the chicken, though! Very good) – it was almost like being on a wine-tasting tour? 

Hunter Valley vibes.

We each had about eight glasses (tasting pours, of course) in front of us, but because my fiance was driving, my father and I just ended up having his share – plus ordered more? It was just nice. Would do again.

Okay gotta go – I have six white groomsmen shirts to buy. 

Feature image: Supplied.