Father Of The Bride Keeping Close Eye On His Bushie Nephews Drinking Themselves Into Liabilities — The Betoota Advocate


The marriage of Betoota Grove’s Emily Sheridan and Brendan Neeson was a roaring success over the weekend, as guests from some all over the town and state turned out to the sailing club to celebrate the Holy Matrimony between two of the region’s most esteemed sporting dynasties.

Father of the bride, Kevvy Sheridan, says watching his daughter marry his son’s five-eighth was by far the most special 12 hours of his life.

“Everything went off without a hitch”

“The celebrant wasn’t too preachy”

“The grub was sensational, and the live band played the hits”

According to Kevvy’s family and friends, it’s not often that the old man will refrain from complaining about having to pull out his wallet. However, it seems the wedding of his youngest daughter was money well spent.

“I trusted the girls to get it right. I’m not picking invitation fonts or napkin colours. They just bring me the bills and I’ll sort it. Only happens once” said the uncharacteristically generous tight arse.

In fact, the only thing Kevvy had to worry about throughout the evening was the behaviour of his three nephews from the land.

Kenno, Kel and Keiran Sheridan (26,27,29) are by far the most fun cousins to be around. Unfortunately, according to uncle Kevvy, their charm only lasts so long.

“Especially if there’s an open bar” says Kevvy.

“They have the potential to be MVPs but they also have the potential to be blacklisted from any further family events and struck out of the wil”

According to witnesses, the three cattlemen from Camooweal came very bloody close to the latter on Saturday night.

“It was a mistake to host the reception in a licensed hotel” says Bull Sheridan (Kevvy’s oldest and best man).

“It was around 9pm we recieved word that the cousins had commandeered the pool table and were playing jousting with the pool sticks”

As Kevvy points out, it’s not a very fun for the bride or bride’s mother to see photos of grown men on top of each others shoulders while charging at eachother with long bits of timber.

“They’d roped one of the bridesmaid’s deadshit husbands into it. There was a lot of broken glass”

Luckily, Kevvy had a plan.

“I had a pouch of Champion Ruby tobacco stashed in one of the motel rooms back on the highway. I told the boys the first one to find it got to keep it”

“But I’d also left a bottle of rum up there and CD player with the best of Alan Jackson. The walk sobered them up enough each way to stop one of them from tackling the wedding cake”

“We didn’t see them for hours, and by the time they got back everyone had a beer blanket on and they blended right into the crowd”