Members of a popular internet forum were stunned after one woman revealed how her handmade wedding gift was not good enough for the bride who requested it.
In a viral Reddit post published on r/AmITheA**hole, Redditor u/CinnamonMagpie—otherwise referred to as the original poster, or OP—said she spent months creating a large, Bible-themed cross stitch sampler before learning she was still expected to purchase an additional gift from her friend’s wedding registry.
Titled, “[Am I the A**hole] for Not Buying a Wedding Gift From the Registry?” the post has received nearly 10,000 upvotes and 1,800 comments in the last day.
Writing that the wedding is just a month away, OP said that when her friend was first engaged, she was immediately put to work.
“The bride pulled me aside and showed me a pattern for a 1 Corinthians 13 cross stitch sampler she said she wanted me to do to ‘commemorate the wedding,'” OP wrote. “I agreed, despite knowing it would be a lot of work.”
After a year of stitching and adjusting the bride’s requested pattern, OP said the cross stitch is now completed, framed and ready to appear at the upcoming wedding.
Unfortunately, OP also said that during a brief phone conversation with the bride, she was informed that her hard work was all for naught.
“Brides contacts me…and says that she noticed I haven’t bought anything off the registry yet, and because she knows I’m on a very low income, I should hurry and get a gift before all the affordable ones are taken,” OP wrote.
“[She] then said that as a guest I’m required to bring a gift,” OP continued. “I said I am bringing her a gift, and one that I worked very hard on, on linen with silk threads that she requested.”
“She said that it didn’t count because she asked me to do it,” OP added. “I said that registries are basically the same thing, asking for specific things you want, and she called me an a**hole and hung up.”
Wedding planning—from the second a couple is engaged to the second they are married—is chaotic and features countless moving parts ranging from dates and venues to garnishes and table centerpieces.
But while both partners, their families and friends spend months making sure everything goes perfectly on the big day, guests attending the wedding are often required to enact a certain level of planning themselves.
After choosing an outfit that won’t conflict with the wedding party, or upstage the happy couple, guests are faced with a much more important task: gift shopping.
In the U.S., more than 80 percent of marrying couples set up gift registries, according to The Knot.
Rife with ideas for stumped guests, wedding registries have recently expanded beyond retail purchases to include more cash requests, but continue to serve the same purpose they have for the last century.
Where many guests are happy to follow registry guidelines to a tee, however, others opt for a more sentimental route.
Last decade, The New York Times examined the handmade wedding gift and offered readers an assortment of suggestions, including family recipe books, original music and embroidered throw pillows.
Times writer Susan Hodara also suggested that before giving a handmade treasure, wedding guests should consult with couples about gift expectations in order to avoid any awkwardness or tension.
Members of Reddit’s r/AmITheA**hole forum rushed to the defense of one woman who said her friend demanded she purchase a gift from her wedding registry, despite already completing a handmade piece of art. Above, a representation of a woman having a difficult phone conversation.
fizkes/iStock / Getty Images Plus
Throughout the comment section of the viral Reddit post, however, Redditors were adamant that demanding a gift from a registry after requesting a handmade gift from a guest is disrespectful and called out OP’s friend for doing just that.
“[Not the a**hole],” Redditor u/CrystalQueen3000 wrote in the post’s top comment, which has received nearly 16,000 votes. “That’s some next level entitlement.”
Redditor u/Traditional_Fortune6, whose comment has received more than 1,600 votes, echoed that sentiment.
“You are [not the a**hole], not at all,” they assured. “I’m speechless right now. The bride’s entitlement is insane.”
“She knows you’re on a fixed income so she shouldn’t be signaling you to buy anything off her registry,” Redditor u/Mother_Tradition_774 chimed in, receiving nearly 1,000 votes. “She’s inconsiderate and entitled.”
In a separate comment, which has received more than 5,000 votes, Redditor u/3DonizettiQueens lamented over wedding registries as a whole.
“A bridal registry is a convenience that stores hoping to sell stuff set up with brides hoping to get stuff,” they wrote. “It is a borderline crass commercial arrangement.”
“Your bride pushed deep deep into jaw-droppingly crass territory by sitting [vulture-like] in the top of the (metaphorical) fig tree waiting for expected tributes to drop off and croaking loudly for me,” they added.
Newsweek reached out to u/CinammonMagpie for comment.