How to Write a Future Husband Letter

Writing a future husband letter is a fun, cathartic way to get your feelings down on paper about the person you hope to marry. And whether you’re already dating or engaged to that person, or you haven’t met the one yet, a future husband letter allows you to write out your feelings, your values, your dreams, and your goals for your future marriage. When the time comes, there’s nothing sweeter than giving this letter to your husband after your wedding day or on an anniversary—and looking back on it together for years to come.

Here, we talk about tips for writing this special letter, and things to consider while doing so.

Write the Letter for Yourself, First

It may sound odd since you’re addressing this letter to your future husband, but the letter should first and foremost be for yourself. Take some time before you write to think about what love means to you, what partnership means to you, and what you hope to achieve in your relationship. Even if you haven’t met your partner yet, or if you’ve just fallen in love with someone who you feel is the one, take the time to tell them in this private setting (your own writing!) about your hopes and dreams—and how this person fits into that vision. The practice of writing is a great way to discover more about yourself, too. Keep that in mind! This could even be an exercise you and your partner do together, with the goal of sharing your letters with each other in the future.

Think About Your Goals

When you’re in a marriage, both partners will bring a different set of goals and values to the partnership. Think about this letter as an opportunity to outline what you’re hoping to bring to the relationship, and what you’re hoping to get out of life with this person. Consider how you feel about things like whether you hope to have children, how you feel about shared finances or buying a home together, and how you hope to overcome challenges and navigate conflict.

If you’re currently in a partnership while writing your future husband letter, consider having a conversation about the core values you want to agree on before you tie the knot.

Be Lighthearted, Too

While a future husband letter is a great time to write about the deep things like values, dreams, and goals, it doesn’t have to only include the heavier things. Feel free to touch on some light-hearted topics, too, like things that make you laugh, sweet stories from your childhood that you want to share with your partner, or little things that you hope to do for each other that will make you both smile.

Write About Your Wedding Day

Especially if you’re planning to give your husband the letter on the night of your wedding, this is a great opportunity to write about what you hope your wedding will look like someday. Whether it’s about small elements like the type of flowers, the cake, or the color scheme, or you write about what you envision your dress looking like, what you want your vows to be like, or where the wedding will take place, this is the perfect space to dream about all of those exciting wedding details. Reading it together after your wedding will feel so special—and it will show you how far you’ve come as an individual and as a couple.