I asked my brother for £20,000 for my wedding but he refused and now I won’t take his calls, says young bride

WEDDINGS are seriously expensive and many couples find themselves spending a lifetime of savings on their big day.

Regardless of whether you have 30 or 100 people invited to your special day, the costs always add up.


A young bride has been left fuming after her brother refused to give her £20,000 for her big dayCredit: Alamy

Back in the day, the bride’s parents were typically expected to fork out for the big day, but nowadays, most couples tend to fund the day themselves.

But for many that can’t afford a lavish wedding, they have no choice but to either go cheap, or ask family and friends to help.

And that’s just what one bride did.

The 23-year-old, who has a young daughter, aged 4, relies on her fiance, 27, on his income from his job in a research lab, while she is currently studying history in the hopes of becoming a teacher.

The woman posted on Reddit’s Am I The A**hole forum: “AITA for requesting that my brother gives me £20,000 to help me pay for my wedding since he makes a lot more than me?”.

She said: “I wasn’t able to go to university full time, since I was raising my daughter.

“However, I am currently studying history online, where I will hopefully be able to become a history teacher.

“Balancing studying while raising my daughter hasn’t been easy, however, having my fiancé supporting the family has really helped, since my fiancé works in a research lab.

“We have enough money to live comfortably, but saving up money to have our dream wedding would take years.

“My brother (28M) works as a hospital doctor.

“His wife also works as a hospital doctor, so to say that they are well off would be an understatement.

“My brother hasn’t had the same struggles of raising a child, since they both don’t want any children.

“I don’t mind the fact that they both have kids, but they have been able to save a lot of money due to this.

“Recently, I asked my brother if he would be able to help pay for my wedding, since having him contribute to my wedding would help make it a magical moment for me.”


The bride revealed that her brother in fact offered to give her £5,000 towards the cost of her big day, but she refused and requested £20,000 instead.

She continued: “My brother offered to give me £5,000 towards my wedding, which honestly surprised me.

“I might be wrong here, but surely as a hospital doctor, my brother should be able to contribute more to my wedding.

“I told him that I’d really appreciate it if he could give me £20,000 for my wedding, since it would really mean a lot, but he refused.

“I’d be lying if I said I didn’t make my annoyance with my brother clear, and I told him that his refusal to help pay for my wedding is selfish, and that if he doesn’t help contribute to my wedding, then he won’t be able to come, since it isn’t my fault that I don’t a lot of money to fund my wedding.

“We had an argument afterwards, and I haven’t been returning his calls since.

“The rest of my family is helping to contribute to my wedding, which makes his refusal even worse.

“Despite my brother’s actions, my father thinks that I’m being too harsh on my brother, and that me not inviting him to my wedding would be upsetting for him.

“Am I missing something here?”

One Reddit user responded: “He offered you money and he didn’t have to. You’re entitled.”

Another said: “You don’t need to throw a wedding that costs tens of thousands of dollars you don’t have. Scale it back, have the wedding you can afford, and apologize to your brother for your selfishness.”

A third commented: “If you can’t afford a £20,000 wedding then don’t have one.”

Many have called the bride 'entitled' and 'selfish' but what do you think?


Many have called the bride ‘entitled’ and ‘selfish’ but what do you think?Credit: Alamy

Meanwhile, I made £300 on my wedding – we got more in gifts than we spent, I even wore Primark shoes and accessories from Claire’s.

Also, ‘legendary’ mum shares petty way she tells her husband she’s annoyed at dinnertime without the kids realising.

My pricey bespoke wedding dress was so massive it wouldn’t fit down the church’s aisle – but I made it work