Members of a popular internet forum rallied behind one mother who vacated her role as her sister’s maid of honor after her boyfriend and children were uninvited from the wedding.
In a viral Reddit post published on r/AmITheA******, Redditor u/TArelgioussister (otherwise referred to as the original poster, or OP) said she was prepared to serve as her older sister’s right hand on her wedding day but revealed how a change of heart ruined all of that in an instant.
Titled, “[Am I the a******] for refusing to be my sister’s [maid of honor] after she said I can’t bring my [boyfriend] of 10 years and my children to her wedding because we are not married?” the post has received more than 12,200 upvotes and 1,800 comments in the last day.
“I have an older sister…Nina who is getting married,” OP began. “She has a 16[-year-old] and a 5[-year-old] from her previous relationship.”
Continuing to explain that her sister’s wedding is just two weeks away, OP said she was originally asked to serve as maid of honor, and had spent months preparing for the big day.
Last week, however, OP said she was incensed to discover that her boyfriend and the couple’s two children had been uninvited from the wedding—at the request of her sister.
“She said she doesn’t feel comfortable having my [boyfriend] at her wedding because we are still not married and since the twins were born outside of marriage, they can’t come,” OP wrote.
“I was furious and have reminded her that she herself has [two] kids that were born ‘outside of marriage’…and she is currently pregnant with another one,” OP continued. “Nina said she ‘understood her sins and is working to redeem them,’ but her word is final.
“So [I], alongside [a] few other bridesmaids have pulled out from the wedding and told her we will not be coming since Nina decided to uninvite our boyfriends and kids,” OP added.
Adult sisters arguing over wedding invitations. Members of Reddit’s r/AmITheA****** forum were outraged after one woman revealed why her boyfriend and children were uninvited from her sister’s wedding.
princigalli/iStock / Getty Images Plus
Being named maid of honor for any wedding, whether related to the bride or not, is no small feat.
But as the adage goes, with great power comes great responsibility.
Although maids of honor should not be at a bride’s every beck and call, they should be available for emotional support during the wedding planning process and can play a major part in making sure morale remains high throughout, according to Amorology, a luxury event coordination and styling company.
Maids of honor are usually responsible for a multitude of things on wedding day too, including holding up the bride’s dress to avoid any damage or staining and a highly-anticipated toast, which will surely be burned into the minds of guests for years to come.
However, because of the immense responsibility and lofty expectations attached to the maid of honor title, existing relationships can quickly become convoluted, especially when it’s a family member charged with serving as a bride’s right hand.
“One of the most important things you can do with a family member turned Maid of Honor is set expectations,” Amorology told Newsweek. “Make sure that you are both on the same page.
“You also want to make sure as a bride you aren’t taking advantage of your [maid of honor],” they added. “Remember this is a big undertaking for them as well. It is important to show your gratitude for them as they stand by your side and support you on your biggest day.”
But even the closest connections can be compromised in situations like these, and sometimes require mediation to move forward.
“If, despite setting expectations, things [still turn] contentious, it would be beneficial to sit down and have a heart to heart conversation,” Amorology added. “Bringing in another family member to be a neutral party is helpful as well to make sure both sides are being heard.
“At the end of the day, your relationship with your family member before the wedding is most important and should remain the same throughout the whole experience,” they said.
Unfortunately, prioritizing a familial relationship over a wedding doesn’t always happen and in circumstances like OP’s, certain family members can be excluded from wedding plans completely.
Throughout the comment section of the viral Reddit post, many Redditors threw support behind OP’s decision to drop out of her sister’s wedding, slamming her sister for uninviting her boyfriend and children in the process.
“[Not the a******],” Redditor u/Sizzleteeen commented, receiving more than 6,600 upvotes. “They were uninvited, and you made plans, then she ‘uninvited’ them.”
“I cannot imagine the thought process behind something like this,” they continued. “They’ve fully planned and paid for a wedding for x number of guests, then just randomly tell people they’re unwelcome?”
Redditor u/Targa85, whose comment has received nearly 3,000 upvotes, echoed that sentiment.
“That’s cruel of her. Especially to uninvite at the last minute,” they wrote. “Good for you for not going, sticking with your partner and kids.”
“She uninvites her [maid of honor’s] partner and kids two weeks before the wedding then complains that you’re [the a******] because she doesn’t have enough time to adjust things?” Redditor u/mdthomas questioned, receiving more than 2,000 upvotes. “Consequences of her own actions.”
“Not inviting your [boyfriend] after 10 years is bad enough,” Redditor u/Spirit_Falcon chimed in. “But not inviting her own flesh and blood (your twins) just because their parents aren’t married is so judgmental and hypocritical.”
Newsweek reached out to u/TAreligioussister for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.
Has a wedding come between your relationship with a loved one? Let us know via firstname.lastname@example.org. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.