“A lot of people who work in the wedding industry just continue carrying on a narrative because that’s what they know and what they were taught,” said Mx. Blattel of Modern Rebel.
David Green, 36, and Ryan Schwartz, 37, did not have wedding parties for their summer camp-themed wedding because they felt they “create unnecessary exclusion and hierarchies in an event that is all about community,” said Mr. Schwartz, who is the founder of Mental Health Match, a website that helps people find therapists.
Both Jewish, the two instead engaged in a tradition called a tisch, or a gathering of close friends and family before the wedding ceremony, on June 18 in Portland, Ore. Mr. Schwartz’s crew congregated in the living room; Mr. Green’s in the backyard.
Eventually their two crews came together, and the couple received a “high energy send-off” before they took an Uber to their wedding venue, said Mr. Green, the founder of Stacks Journal, a scientific publishing journal.
“Historically, the tisch has been gendered. But there’s no playbook for a queer wedding,” Mr. Schwartz said. “As queer people, we learn to question what we’re told, and to search inside to find what’s authentic and meaningful to us.” He added, “that’s the joy of being queer.”
For Stephanie Ramones, 33, inclusivity is a priority for her wedding this summer in Philadelphia. She said she and her fiancé have many nonbinary friends and have felt most comfortable dropping wedding parties entirely.
“Creating an inclusive space and a space where people feel seen and cared for,” said Ms. Ramones, a wedding photographer. “To me, that’s just being a good host.”
