A man posted to the subreddit AITA (Am I The A-hole) wondering if the way he told his brother about his child-free wedding was too harsh.
He wrote that his brother “Chris” and his wife have a 3-year-old son, who they conceived after many failed pregnancies over a span of years. Everyone refers to his nephew as a miracle, or “rainbow baby,” the term for a baby born after a miscarriage.
Chris wanted to bring his son to the poster’s wedding — but he refused.
The original poster and his fiance are planning a child-free wedding. He stated that has “no hate towards children,” and that the decision to not have kids at the celebration is a way to “keep it more organized and contained.”
Chris and his wife tried to convince him to make an exception for their son because he’s “a miracle baby” whose “presence at the wedding will bring ‘blessings’ for [him] and [his] fiancée.”
He refused to bend the rules for his brother, stating that the wedding would be child-free, no matter what.
Afterward, Chris’ wife sent his fiancée photos of the nephew as a newborn baby, in an attempt to sway her opinion. The man told his brother and sister-in-law to stop sending pictures, reiterating that the wedding would still be child-free.
But his brother refused to take no for an answer.
Chris asked again and was told no. Chris “pointed out how his baby is different since he’s a rainbow, a miracle baby.”
The original poster stood by his initial convictions and told his brother once more that the wedding would be child-free.
During a visit to the poster’s home, Chris and his wife brought the issue up again.
This time, the groom-to-be was ready. He held up flashcards he’d made previously, on which he’d written out the words “The wedding will be childfree.”
He reported to Reddit that his brother and sister-in-law “were both stunned.”
When he asked if they got the message, Chris “lost his s–t,” calling him an a–hole for disrespecting him, his wife, and “their son who’s [his] one and only nephew.” After arguing more, Chris raced out of the house.
While his fiancée thought the whole thing was funny, the poster’s parents and brother were “livid beyond measure” about “the amount of disrespect and mockery… displayed towards them.”
He reported he’s being told by his family to “fix it.”
A commenter noted that his family “call what he did ‘disrespectful’ but them constantly not taking his no at face value isn’t disrespectful.”
Another said that he should have a “serious conversation with his parents about how his brother was crossing a line with him and also his fiancé by trying to guilt her” by sending her unwanted baby photos.
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As one commenter pointed out, “It’s YOUR wedding, YOUR rules.”
“After all the pain and struggle they went through, after all the losses they suffered, your nephew is a miracle But so is every child that is born,” the user continued.
“And every child can also be an annoying little s–t that gets cranky and tired and bored when adults are doing boring adult things like weddings.”
The users decided that he was not the a–hole, but his brother certainly was, for not respecting his decision to keep his wedding child-free.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango’s news and entertainment team. She covers celebrity gossip, pop culture analysis and all things to do with the entertainment industry.