A man was heartbroken and fuming after his soon-to-be wife refused to allow him to invite his ex-girlfriend to their wedding.
He explained why in a post on Reddit, revealing his sentimental reason for the bizarre request.
“My fiancee and I are going to get married in October. Last week we started making a guest list to send the invitations by the end of the month,” he wrote.
“I am an orphan, and the only family I have is an old distant relative that can’t make the trip to the U.S. I told my fiancée I’ll be inviting only 6 people. A coworker, three friends including my ex and their two partners,” he continued.
The man explained he dated his ex for a few months eight years ago when he was in college.
“…When I first came to the U.S., I thought that just being with someone from my own country would make us compatible (obviously, we were not, and it was stupid of me to think so),” he explained.
“My ex and I are still friends but have no romantic feelings for each other, and looking back, I don’t think we really ever had,” he continued, adding the woman is now married and has three kids.
His soon-to-be bride denied his heartfelt request, telling him they “shouldn’t invite any partners we’ve had to a day that is supposed to be ours.”
“I told her I won’t be bringing her just because she’s an ex but because she’s my friend, and I also want someone from my country to be present because the relative won’t be attending,” he reasoned.
The man also shared that the only people who would know about their short-lived dating history would be the three of them, “so it’s not like it was going to make things awkward.”
The man added his fiancée told him it’s not okay to bring an ex to your wedding in the U.S., but he called “bull—t.”
“I asked her if there was really another reason that she didn’t want her to be present, and she didn’t want to answer,” he continued, adding his wife-to-be became “visibly upset.”
“I tried to apologize because it wasn’t my intention, but she just ignored me and went to bed,” he wrote. “I always leave for work first, but this morning when I woke up, she had already left. I tried calling, but she wouldn’t answer nor respond to my texts. Now I’m feeling conflicted because I am considering not inviting my friend anymore because I don’t want to have a falling out with my fiancée over this.”
In the comments, many Reddit users rallied for more communication between the couple.
“Oooh, this is a tough one,” one person wrote. “Generally, exes don’t get invited to weddings (Aussie here), BUT I would make an exception given what you have explained about your family situation. If you have maintained a friendship with your ex over the years, I think it’s fair to say that she is a friend, not simply an ex. However, your fiancee needs to feel comfortable with who is present at the wedding … but so do you! Both valid points…”
“I reckon there’s a difference between inviting an ex and inviting a friend who you dated but remained friends with,” another commented. “Like, I would not invite my ex-husband to my theoretical wedding because we are only friendly because we share kids. There’s too much history there for myself or my partner to be comfortable. In OP’s case, they dated a bit but were better as friends … that kind of ex I wouldn’t be uncomfortable with.”
“Every relationship and situation is different,” someone else weighed in. “My ex and I can’t even communicate effectively, let alone be in the same space, so that would be a hard no for me. Other people have had amicable splits and remain friends. I think the fiancee needs to forget the ex-label and think of her as a friend like OP apparently does. However, there are some clear trust issues and insecurities that need to be addressed before the marriage. Maybe this was a good time to have a discussion.”
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