As Mother of the Bride, there are plenty of things you’ll want to give your two cents on leading up to your daughter’s big day — yet it might not always be your place.
From your thoughts on your daughter’s dress to your opinions on her spouse and their family, there may be a few things to keep tight-lipped about. However, there are equally many points you should share your opinion on, loud and proud.
Here are some of the most hilarious, true and heartfelt points of advice from brides and Mother of the Brides, to help you keep your cool as your child gears up to get married.
READ MORE: Dating horror stories: How Aussie woman are dipping their toes back into online dating after lockdown
Every way to keep your cool ahead of your daughter’s big day. (Getty)
Sazkar: “Controversial advice — Slap your daughter back to reality when she becomes a bridezilla. Only a mother has the right to do it… and [it’s] also her responsibility !… Mothers of the Bride need to spiritually and emotionally put their daughters in check. I know my mother definitely will !”
Anna, Sydney: “If invited to the Bridal Gown shopping, definitely enjoy and be supportive. It’s OK to encourage a dress of their preference for the bride to try on, then after one, allow the bride to explore the ones she really want and don’t be offended.”
She added: “My mum has been great through this journey so far. Super supportive; allowing us to make decisions; plus after any difference of opinions, she still reiterates that it’s our wedding, to remind us [that the] final decision is ours, so we can do what we want. She acknowledges it and it’s comforting.”
Stephanie, Canberra: “Don’t make your daughter invite extended family members to her wedding. It’s OK to not invite all the cousins and your great uncle George.”
Lisa: “I’m a Mother of the Bride currently going through reception planning/quotes/choices and wedding dress shopping. I think to discuss finances, total cost and payments early on, before the bride sets her heart on things that may not be achievable. Both sets of parents and the wedding couple are all contributing, in our case. We have been able to come up with an overall budget.”
READ MORE: Ronan Keating and wife Storm allegedly refuse to pay cleaner over ‘appalling’ job
‘Take your daughter out for lunch or dinner with a rule: no wedding chat’ (Getty)
For a daily dose of 9Honey, subscribe to our newsletter here
She added: “Remind your daughter to get onto things early. Venues are booked out everywhere, and the lead time on most wedding dresses is 7 to 12 months. There’s a COVID-19 wedding backlog at the moment.”
Natasha, Tasmania: “Of course be there to help and support the bride but weddings are stressful. Take your daughter out for lunch or dinner with a rule: no wedding chat. It’s honestly amazing just for that couple of hours to not think of the wedding, but enjoy a meal talking about other things.”
Xzavia, Victoria: “The mother of the bride should know that it’s her daughter’s wedding and not hers.”
9Honey also rounded up a list of general advice, that might be good to remember as you navigate this time with your daughter.
Advice for any Mother of the Bride
1. Don’t suggest family or friends as free labour
According to Inside Weddings, a big no-no when it comes to planning the wedding is to offer up the services of family or friends without asking them. It’s “rude”, as the publication puts it — despite how perfectly cost-effective it could prove.
2. Don’t have any “diva moments” on the big day
This one might seem a little presumptuous — who said you were going to act out anyway? But with tensions naturally rising high on a wedding day, who knows how you’ll be feeling?
Before jumping into things, take some time to remember what the day means for you and your daughter — that’s what’s most important, after all.
Don’t be late! And don’t let your hair down so much so you forget the entire night. (Getty Images/iStockphoto)
3. Don’t attempt any inebriated public speaking
If there’s one thing you definitely don’t want, it’s drunken shouting into a microphone about ‘how time has flown by’. (And that would be the best of it.)
Instead, play things safe, go easy on the champagne and remember that while it’s important to let your hair down, you do still want to remember this moment. It’s a pretty special one.
4. Swallow your judgement
More likely than not, you’ve probably got a few strong set feelings about your in-laws, and maybe even a few about your child’s partner.
Unfortunately, the fact a wedding is nudging itself into view is probably evidence it might be too little too late to make these feelings heard. The reality is, you’ve probably already made them known in the past, anyway.
5. Whatever you do, don’t be late
If there’s one thing your child needs, it’s for her own mum to be on time. Plus, this will ensure maximum fuss-time, so you can fluff your daughter’s veil, touch up her make-up and shed a few quiet tears.
From dress styles, to wedding location, be prepared that your daughter might not want the same ‘traditonal’ wedding as you. (Getty Images/iStockphoto)
READ MORE: X-Men star James McAvoy confirms he secretly married girlfriend Lisa Liberati three years ago
6. Be prepared to deviate from tradition
With your child being generations younger than you, your idea of a wedding and hers will likely stand on complete opposite ends of the spectrum. It’s important in the planning process to remember this — and don’t force a sixpence in her shoe or a 600-person ceremony if she doesn’t want it.
7. Offer gentle advice when asked
Per Jenny Craig, if you are provided with the glorious chance to give an opinion, deliver it as gently as possible. Whether it be advice on a dress choice, table setting or playlist, be as kind as possible. Harsh criticism will probably go down as easy as red wine vinegar.
8. Don’t outshine the bride
It goes without saying, but it’s probably best to steer clear from wearing white or a loud and proud outfit on the day. By all means, wear something that makes you feel good, but that glittery ball gown in the back of your closet should probably sit this one out.
Keep your face an experiment-free zone on the big day. (Getty Images/iStockphoto)
READ MORE: Australian athlete discusses mental health struggles just months before death: ‘I did not have an identity’
9. Don’t experiment with make-up
Make-up artist Simon Otis tells Real Weddings that your daughter’s wedding is absolutely not the time to try out the green eye shadow look you loved in last month’s Vogue.
“When you look back at the beautiful pictures you’ll see yourself, not a trendy makeup look. Focus on doing a makeup look that creates the best version of you,” says Otis.
10. Be ready to set your child free
Family therapist Michele Kambolis tells Real Weddings to start preparing now for your child’s full independence, so it doesn’t hit you like a bus when she leaves the reception.
“We’ve held an internal vision and narrative for what we have wanted for their life but it’s what we have wanted, not what they have wanted,” she says. “This is a time to separate that and allow them to flourish into what they want for themselves.”
The strict rules all royal brides must follow on their wedding day