‘My bridesmaids won’t pay’ – Bride-to-be sparks debate about long-standing wedding tradition

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  • Weddings are not cheap; many couples opt to elope or have a ‘Just Us’ wedding.
  • However, some brides still want the traditional wedding ceremony with bridesmaids, bridal showers and bachelorette parties.
  • This bride-to-be took to TikTok to ask if bridesmaids should be expected to pay for everything for someone else’s wedding.

A bride-to-be has sparked a debate on TikTok after posing a question that everyone has thought of but never said out loud – Should bridesmaids pay their way for your wedding?

A woman who goes by Party Girl Clauds told TikTok users that she is getting married this year and doesn’t expect her bridesmaid to chip in, including buying their dresses, styling and makeup. She also added that your wedding is not your bridesmaids’ financial responsibility.

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“For context, I’m a 2023 bride. I’m getting married in August, and I don’t expect my bridesmaids to pay for a single thing, including the hen party (bachelorette party). Your wedding is not your bridesmaids’ financial responsibility.

If they were a guest, they would be paying a certain amount to come to your wedding, sure, in wedding gifts, and maybe they’re buying a new dress, for example, but if they’re in your bridal party, they’re paying for a lot of stuff.”

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She continues to mention the things bridesmaids usually buy or pay for, such as jewellery, shoes, plus a wedding gift. “You’re essentially asking for them to pay for your financial responsibilities. It’s your wedding, you want to have a wedding, and yet you’re expecting them to put their financial goals to the side to make way for your wedding. It may not be in their budget at all.” She also took the opportunity to address brides who say it is a privilege to be their bridesmaids.

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“I would implore you to think again; your bridesmaids are dedicating their time, their emotional energy, and physical energy to be a bridesmaid in whatever aspect you expect them to show up for, so asking them to pay financially on top of that is insane.” She then went on to list questions brides should consider when asking their bridesmaids to pay their way.

– Is this financially viable for my friend?

– Would I be comfortable paying x amount of money that I’m asking them to pay?

– Do I want this money situation to cause a wedge in my friendship?

– Can I even afford to have bridesmaids? If you can’t pay for it, then realistically, you shouldn’t have bridesmaids.

Would you let your bridesmaids pay their way for your wedding? Tell us here.

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Users of the platform flooded the comment section of the video to voice their divided opinions, and those in support of her said, “Brides who are expecting bridesmaids to pay should not have a wedding. That’s a pathetic expectation.” Another added, “This is why when asked to be a bridesmaid, you decline. It is a commitment to be in a wedding.”

Others came up with suggestions that don’t leave the financial responsibility to one party.

“I mean, I would personally do 50/50, only because then they have their freedom of choice too.” Another said, “I asked my girls with a gift if they could handle the commitment. They weren’t obligated. It’s a choice. I told them exactly what I would ask.” 

Sources: TikTok, New York Post