‘Shan’t Be Attending:’ Fury as Woman Told to Slim Down to Be Maid of Honor

A woman’s claims that she was told to lose weight in order to be given the role of maid-of-honor at her cousin’s wedding have sparked fury online.

Ife Nkili penned a tweet sharing her thoughts on the upcoming family nuptials on Sunday, and it has since amassed more than 200,000 likes, and been shared across multiple social media platforms.

In the tweet, which can be seen here, she wrote: “My closest cousin, the closest thing I have to a sibling, has officially confirmed I won’t be her maid of honour cos I’m just too fat for a maid of honour role.

“Have to lose some weight before December or no maid of honour duties for me. I shan’t be attending the wedding.”

My closest cousin, the closest thing I have to a sibling, has officially confirmed I won’t be her maid of honour cos I’m just too fat for a maid of honour role.

Have to lose some weight before December or no maid of honour duties for me.

I shan’t be attending the wedding ✌🏾

β€” Ife Nkili 🌷 (@Zioraife) June 5, 2022

She then shared follow-up posts, saying: “My family will swear I’m wicked and no nonsense cos I reward meanness with the same level of vim.

“Begging me to attend for what? So I’d damage the aesthetics ? Nah, I’ll stay home, press my phone all day, happy married life Couz!”

She continued: “These people who are supposed to be my people have bullied me all my life for genes I have absolutely no control over.

“If not for strong self-will, I’d loathe my body. Each time I eat, I stress over how much I’m eating, over how much I gain just from eating. Hei mbanu!”

And seemingly addressing critics, she added: “‘You should attempt to lose weight.’ Alright. Gym membership at 20k a month Γ— 6 months is 120k. Gimme that and I’ll give you the body you desire in 6 months. Deal?”

The tweet garnered mixed reviews, as some people defended the bride-to-be, while others slammed her stance.

Joanna wrote: “Body shaming is never ok. Period. Don’t defend it.”

“You should attempt to lose weight.”

Alright. Gym membership at 20k a month Γ— 6 months is 120k.

Gimme that and I’ll give you the body you desire in 6 months.

Deal?

β€” Ife Nkili 🌷 (@Zioraife) June 5, 2022

Khalifat said: “Some people wouldn’t know how annoying they are until they are treated the same way. And who said big girls can’t be maid of honor?”

BravoBrooke1 commented: “That’s f**ked up! To have a cousin that you are so close with (you consider her a sibling) cut you out of being maid of honor based on your looks is wrong in every way! That’s such a hurtful thing to do to anyone especially a family member! I’m sorry you are being treated.”

Dream Girl thought: “That’s just unnecessarily cruel. Sorry this is happening to you. I don’t know why weddings bring out the worst in some people. At least now you know how she’s always felt about you.”

Taconya Goar, PhD advised: “I say you go, eat that $25/person plate and dance like the next day is your last. Don’t shrink into a corner bc of someone else’s bogus “standards”. Do you all day!!”

Molly Simonson, MPH asked: “Are you still friends? Like, how do you continue a relationship after something like that?”

While THEE mj added: “I support this response. What a horrible, superficial, hateful way to behave to someone you purport to love πŸ™ Ma’am, I hope you have an amazing day that day. Take yourself out for a spa day or something you love. You’re perfect just as you are.”

I shan’t be attending the wedding.”

Nkili

Although others took the bride’s side, as Osareme reckoned: “You sort of feel entitled to be her maid of honor. From the context you provided you can be a bridesmaid or be a guest, so it’s maid of honor or nothing. It’s her wedding, not yours.

“You might be reacting this way because of how your family in general have acted towards you and your weight. For this singular event, I feel you’re overreacting though. You do not fit into the role as a chief bridesmaid for her because of your size and that is totally fine,” @Ejiro_OS said.

Sketchy Artist thought: “Meh agree and disagree. Your wedding is one of the most important days and you want it to be perfect, so i think it’s not bad to want things to look how you want them to.”

Sayraah replied: “It’s her wedding after all. So she can choose whoever she wants. But what doesn’t feel right is how she went on to tell you why you can’t be her maid of honor. She could at least just pick someone else and not body shame you. And I don’t understand why you choose not to go.”

Being asked to be the maid-of-honor is regarded as an honor itself, but it comes with duties and responsibilities, and a close friend or female relative is usually picked.

Website Brides.com summed up the role as being “in charge of the bachelorette party and bridal shower as well as leading the rest of the bridesmaids throughout the planning process and on the day of the wedding.”

The website also highlighted other key duties, including going wedding dress shopping and holding the bride’s bouquet.

However they’re also expected to have drinks and snacks on hand for the bride, give a toast and answer questions from guests.

They quoted Betsy Krug, co-owner of Rebecca Rose Events, who said: “Be open about personalities and decide if the bride will delegate and ask for help or if the maid of honor should periodically check in and offer support without being prompted.

“Discuss the level of involvement and support upfront and be mindful of relationships the bride may need to navigate with family.”

Newsweek reached out to Nkili for comment.

File photo of woman in a dress. A woman claims she was told to lose weight to be offered the maid of honor role in her cousins’ wedding.
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