Should you invite your mum to your hen party? What about your mother-in-law? And where do aunties come in? Well, unfortunately, there’s no fixed answer. Choosing who to invite to your hen party depends on a lot of different variables, from where you’re going and what you’re doing, to what vibe you want your hen party to have.
Your decision also depends on your mother or mother-in-law, does she even want to go, will she hit the dancefloor and start doing shots (whether that’s a good or bad thing!), or will she feel like she has to bow out and duck off early to bed? Obviously, the main rule of thumb is, only have your mum or mother-in-law there if you want them there. You shouldn’t feel obliged to invite them or to leave them at home, and hopefully, they’ll understand either way. To help you work out the quandary of whether or not to invite your mam to your hen party, we’ve put together pros and cons of sorts that should make deciding this dilemma less tricky.
Yes You Should Bring Your Mum To Your Hen If…
- You’re really close and can’t imagine having your hen without her.
- You’re having day and night elements, and she’s happy to take part during the day and nip off after dinner while you head off dancing.
- She’s great fun to have on a night out, and gets into the spirit of things.
- You’re having a low-key hen with just dinner, afternoon tea, or a daytime activity.
- Your mother gets on really well with your friends.
- Your mum or mother-in-law doesn’t know many of your friends or your family and you’d like her to meet them before the wedding.
- Your mum isn’t easily offended by drinking, naughty jokes, dressing up etc.
If you do choose to invite your mother or mother-in-law to your hen, have a chat with her beforehand (or get one of your bridesmaids to call her if you’re not privy to the plans) to tell her about what you’ll be up to, what she needs to bring, and to let her know it’s no problem at all if she wants to bring a pal, or bow out for certain elements. Most likely she’ll be happy to muck in with the rest of the girls, but it’s good to let her know that if she’d prefer not to come, that’s okay too!
No You Shouldn’t Bring Your Mum To Your Hen If…
- You don’t get on with her and having her there will make you feel tense or stressed.
- She tends to cause drama or doesn’t approve of your friends.
- You think she won’t enjoy herself, (for example, if she’s not outdoorsy, glamping might not be her bag.)
- She’s really shy or socially anxious.
- She’ll require a gang of pals or your aunties to bring with her – a plus one is fair (perhaps it’s an aunt, friend or your mother-in-law).
- You’re going abroad and think a whole weekender might be a bit too much for her.
- You’re nervous your friends won’t keep things PG (think rude Mr & Mrs questions, willy straws, crude dares, or a stripper) and your mother won’t be comfortable with it.
- You’re planning a hen on a budget, and will have basic shared accommodation, like a hostel or bunkbeds.
If you’re not bringing your mum or mother-in-law to your hen, plan a separate pre-wedding activity with her. Whether it’s combining a dress fitting or shopping for her outfit, with some afternoon tea or cocktails, going for a spa weekend together, or having something like a kitchen party or bridal shower, your mum will appreciate spending quality time with you ahead of the wedding.
More Handy Reads for Hen Party Planning: