- As a professional bridesmaid, I’ve been in over 125 weddings, so I’ve seen it all.
- Couples often have to have awkward conversations with their family and friends before the wedding.
- It can be hard to tell guests they don’t get a plus-one or ask others not to get too drunk.
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I’ve been to hundreds of strangers’ weddings as a hired bridesmaid.
The job has entailed many different things, including pretending to know the couple, locating missing grooms, stopping wedding crashers, and being the sidekick to a few runaway brides.
I’ve also helped couples have awkward conversations with their loved ones, often writing down scripts or drafting emails.
Read on for some of the most uncomfortable chats couples have to have with their guests, and how to handle them gracefully.
Some guests can be stubborn about not getting a plus-one
After the invites are sent, guests will often contact the couple and ask if they can bring a plus-one.
When they keep asking after the first no, it gets intrusive and annoying.
Rather than just saying no, give an explanation for why you can’t accommodate more guests. If you make an exception for them, you’ll have to make it for the dozens of others who asked as well.
It’s OK to tell certain loved ones not to get drunk at your wedding
It can be awkward to have the conversation, but not having it can end up being more embarrassing.
Most people have a few partying friends who get too drunk and make a scene that, although sometimes funny, is often embarrassing.
To avoid the chaos, reach out to that person and ask them to save the shots and heavy drinking for the after-party.
Remind them that although you love the energy they bring, you’re hoping they can remain respectful to you and the other guests.
You shouldn’t have to be the middleman between feuding guests
When a family member or friend finds out someone they don’t get along with is invited to your wedding, they might ask you to uninvite that person.
Instead of trying to reason with the concerned guest, just reassure them that the person isn’t sitting at their table.
If your wedding is formal, you might have to remind people of the dress code
If you’re having a formal or black-tie wedding and hear about guests who want to wear jeans or shorts, simply send them a dress-code reminder.
You can stress that it’s both your preference and the vibe that fits with the venue you selected.
If you know certain people on the guest list are always running late, have a conversation beforehand
Rather than stress about your loved ones who always show up late to everything — or get upset when they trickle in after the ceremony — just talk to them before the day.
Let them know that it would mean a lot if they were there on time and didn’t miss anything. You can even consider telling them a fake, earlier start time.
There are probably certain guests you want to keep away from the microphone during toast time
Pick the people you want to speak before the reception.
Wedding toasts, given by a few selected family members and friends, are special. But sometimes an unplanned guest asks to speak.
It’s sweet, but you don’t want the reception to become an open mic.
If it’s someone you care about, let them speak at the rehearsal dinner instead. If not, let them know you’re eager to keep the party going, so you’ve limited the speeches to a few pre-picked people.
Couples have every right to uninvite people their parents tried to sneak in
A few weddings I worked at got out of hand because a parent of the bride or groom secretly invited a long list of family members.
If you get wind of unofficial invitations, put a stop to it as fast as possible.
Let them know the venue can’t accommodate extra guests. It’s awkward for everyone when people show up just to be turned away.