By TOM WOERNER
For a lot of reasons I’ve never used this space to write about weddings, but this week these sacred unions are on my mind. These services are one of the interesting human concepts we enjoy, and for some endure.
It was my little brother’s wedding on Saturday that spurred my thoughts. He brought a great new family member into the Woerner clan. It was definitely a time to celebrate.
Being that approximately half of weddings end in unhappy divorce, it is easy to be negative on the subject, but weddings are really unique events. There are a few exceptions out there, but almost all Americans get married once, twice or well, these days who knows how many times. We all know the joy of these celebrations of love.
Sometime, pay attention to the ritual of weddings. Who understands the idea that adults “give their children” to someone else? It’s all fancy talk, of course. I mean, parents don’t just disappear from our lives when we are married. Children are not old furniture we give away at a Salvation Army donation site.
Thankfully, some of the wedding vernacular has disappeared. In most cases no one is told to “obey” someone else anymore. I don’t know my sister-in-law all that well yet, but I don’t see her “obeying” my brother. I hope not, I think he would agree she is smarter than him. That is in itself an accomplishment. My brother is the smartest guy I know. If you don’t believe me, ask him, he will tell you.
I don’t like to think about how much money is spent on weddings. The number approaches the budgets of some small countries in some cases. That is definitely a woman thing. I mean us guys would, in most cases, rather spend those funds on something we can drive, a great trip or the newest electronic gadgets. Spending that much on a couple of hours, gone with the sunset, is a concept the male members of society just don’t get.
Wedding receptions are always fun. Couple’s first dances, and daddy’s last dance with his daughter are always unique. Newly united couples shoving cake in each other’s face is a little weird, but again, part of the fun.
The concept of honeymoons is a great one. I mean if couples took a trip devoted to only themselves once a year that 50 percent number I mentioned before would be lower. I’m not the best person to give marital advice, but I would tell all couples to do it more.
True story, my own honeymoon involved being reprimanded by the Secret Service. The president at the time, Bill Clinton, loved to visit Martha’s Vineyard and we decided we wanted to see him, which we did on a golf course. That was just before a big limo approached our rented moped and told us we had to leave. When those guys tell you to do something you listen and we did, but it added a little fun to our celebration.
So enough wondering thoughts from me. Now there is a newly married couple in the world after last week’s celebration. Congrats. Mr. and Mrs. James Woerner. Thanks for a memorable celebration. The road is going to have rocky patches, but if you hang on to each other you’ll make it to the other side.
Tom Woerner is a former reporter with The Daily Record and former editor of the Harnett County News. Reach him at firstname.lastname@example.org.