Wediquette Wednesday: Are the groom’s parents responsible for the rehearsal and flowers?



Each Wednesday, we tackle wedding etiquette. At times, it’s a reader question or one from a colleague, friend or family member and other times we’ll cover a popular issue. (Note: Questions may be edited for clarity and brevity.)


Question: My granddaughter is getting married and so far, the groom’s parents have only agreed to pay for the rehearsal dinner. I always thought the groom’s parents paid for the rehearsal dinner, as well as the flowers. When I got married and when my children did, that’s how it was done. Are the groom’s parents responsible for the rehearsal and flowers?

Answer: Traditionally, the practice has been for the groom’s parents to cover the rehearsal dinner and the flowers, but over the past 10 or so years, many of the “rules” have evolved, including this one. Due to a variety of factors, including the finances of everyone involved, whether or not the couple is paying for their own wedding and a host of other factors, the budget and who is paying for what is now something that is up for discussion. Particularly when it comes to financially capable couples that have cohabitated for any length of time prior to the wedding and may have the means to cover it all. I recommend candid conversations as early in the game as possible to determine who is paying for what — if at all — and to determine a timeline that includes when and how vendors will be paid. Communication, flexibility and grace are going to be key to this process.


Do you have a solution to share or a wedding etiquette question? Respond in the comments or email