What Couples Need to Tell Their Guests

  • As a professional wedding maid, I’ve been to more than 125 weddings.
  • It is not uncommon for couples to have awkward conversations before their wedding with their friends and family.
  • It can be difficult for guests to let you know they won’t get a plus one or to ask people not to get too drunk. 

I have been to hundreds upon hundreds of other peoples’ weddings. Hired bridesmaid.

You will have to pretend to know the couple and locate missing grooms. Stop wedding crashers.

I have also assisted couples in awkward conversations with their loved ones by writing scripts and drafting emails.

Continue reading to learn how to gracefully handle the awkward conversations that couples have with their guests. 

Some guests may be stubborn about getting a plus one.

Guests will often ask the couple if they are open to bringing a friend after the invitations have been sent.

It becomes annoying and intrusive if they continue to ask after the first no.

Instead of just saying no, explain why you cannot accommodate more guests. If you don’t make an exception for them you will have to do it for the many others who also asked.

It’s okay to tell your family members not to drink at your wedding

hand pouring liquor into glasses with ice at an outdoor bar for an event wedding

Although it may be awkward to have the conversation with someone, it can prove more embarrassing if you don’t.


Most people have friends who party too hard and cause a scene that can be embarrassing, even if it is funny.

You can avoid chaos by reaching out to the person you are speaking to and asking them to keep the heavy drinking and shots for the party after.

Remind them to be respectful and that they are a source of energy.

You don’t have to be the mediator between feuding guests

If a friend, family member, or relative discovers that someone they are not friends with is invited to your wedding they may ask you to decline.

Do not try to argue with the guest who isn’t interested in your table. Instead, assure them that you aren’t.

For a formal wedding, it might be necessary to remind your guests of the dress code

Send a reminder to your guests if they want to wear shorts or jeans at a formal wedding.

It’s your choice and the vibe you choose. 

Talk to guests who are always late if you know them.

Rather than stress about your loved ones who always show up late to everything — or get upset when they trickle in after the ceremony — just talk to them before the day.

Let them know it will mean a lot to be on time and not miss anything. You might even suggest telling them to start earlier.

During toast time, there are likely to be certain guests that you don’t want to speak with.

wedding toast

Before the reception, pick the people that you would like to speak.

KristianGjorgjiev/Getty Images

Toasts to weddings are special, and can only be given by selected family members or friends. Unplanned guests may request to speak.

Although it’s nice, you don’t want your reception to turn into an open mic.

If they are someone you love, allow them to speak at the rehearsal meal. If it’s not, let them understand that you want to keep the party going and limit the number of speeches.

Couples can refuse to accept people that their parents have tried to sneak in.

One of the many weddings I was involved in ended up being a disaster because the parent of either the bride or groom invited a long number of family members.

Unofficial invitations should be stopped as soon as you notice them.

Make sure they know that extra guests cannot be accommodated at the venue. It can be awkward for everyone if people turn up to just leave.