A woman is facing criticism for being too “brutally honest” after telling her bride-to-be friend she needed to get over her ex-boyfriend.
Posting to the subreddit “r/AmItheA–hole” (AITA) — a forum where users try to figure out if they were wrong or not in an argument that has been bothering them — she explained that her best friend of the past ten years was getting married.
In her Reddit post, she wrote that her friend had a bachelorette party, where the bride-to-be “got quite wasted” and started bringing up her ex-boyfriend.
The woman called out her friend for being ‘hung up’ on her ex-boyfriend before her wedding.
At some point during the night, she wrote that her friend started “vomiting and crying” while looking at photos of her ex.
“All the other girls were comforting her and talking about what a piece of s–t he is. The next maybe hour turned into [a] fixation on her ex [and] how they should have been the ones married etc,” she explained in her post.
The woman continued, saying that her friend’s former partner recently had a baby with his wife, and while she understood how such a thing would upset her friend, she pointed out that the two of them broke up five years ago.
“I am also one of the few people who actually know why they split up and all I can say is it was definitely her fault,” she claimed.
The rest of the night continued as planned, but the next morning was when things quickly took a turn.
When the woman’s friend went through her phone, she noticed she had called her ex-boyfriend over ten times, and immediately began to “freak out.”
Though, they were able to discern that he probably hadn’t picked any of them up because the calls were short.
“I told her she needed to delete his number from her phone and move on because it wasn’t fair to the guy she is marrying if she continues to be hung up on her ex,” the woman recalled telling her friend.
The woman added that throughout her friend’s relationship with her now-fiancé, she hasn’t been able to let her ex-boyfriend go.
“She has been asked in the past to choose between [her fiancé] and her ex,” she explained.
“She chose her ex, she made it clear to her fiancé she would rather be with her ex. But her ex said he didn’t want her and left, so she stayed with her fiancé.”
She is facing backlash from the other women in the bridal party for being too ‘brutally honest.’
After telling her friend she needed to get over her ex-boyfriend before getting married, all of the other ladies in the bridal party called her “insensitive” for saying that.
The bride-to-be even told her that she needed to “go home early” over the entire ordeal.
“I learned from one of the other bridesmaids that they spent the rest of the morning bashing me in addition to [the] ex,” she added.
When she tried to argue her stance, the other women, including her friend, told her that the point of a bachelorette party is to get “closure with old relationships” and that her “judgmental attitude ruined it for the bride-to-be.”
“I talked to my sister about it and she said while my friend was being ridiculous that it’s my job to put aside my feelings for the bride as [the maid-of-honor],” she concluded.
Most people who commented on the woman’s post agreed that she was NTA (Not The A–hole).
“Closure with old relationships should have happened way before accepting a marriage proposal,” one user wrote.
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“Your friend seems to still be carrying a torch for her ex while planning to marry someone else. Poor groom.”
Another user added, “You did nothing wrong in telling your friend to respect their partner and delete their ex’s number. The group sounds problematic and I hope you don’t hold yourself in bad esteem because of their behavior.”
“Your “friend” is delusional if she thinks that part of a bachelorette party is about getting closure from old relationships,” a third user chimed in.
“That is something that happens when you get serious about a relationship, not wait until a party before taking vows.”
Nia Tipton is a writer living in Brooklyn. She covers pop culture, social justice issues, and trending topics. Keep up with her on Instagram and Twitter.