Woman Lays Down The Law On These ‘Outdated’ Wedding Trends: ‘Need To Go’

Opinions on weddings and the wedding planning process are often shared on the internet, and one woman has gone viral for revealing the trends that, in her own opinion, are ready to be retired.

Jessica O’Connor, the founder of the digital media brand Mic Drop Music, posted the video on her account @jessica0c0nn0r where it was viewed more than 800,000 times. Having a party for each moment leading up to the wedding and “personalized merch” were among some of the points O’Connor raised.

“These trends are outdated and NEED to go,” read the caption of her video.

Above, a stock image of a couple together on their wedding day. A woman posted a now-viral TikTok video explaining some of the popular wedding trends she views as “outdated.”

What All Couples Consider

While different popular trends help shape a wedding’s aesthetic, there are key components to the planning process that all couples must be mindful of.

According to a piece published by Brides, couples should be considerate of their wedding budget, they should pay close attention to the contracts they sign and they should do their research on their venue options.

‘Need To Go’

One of the first points O’Connor made in her video was that there should be either a destination wedding or a destination bachelorette party.

“Expecting people to take two vacations in one calendar year just for you and your wedding is ridiculous,” she said. “That is such a huge ask and it’s giving self-important, it’s giving lack of self-awareness.”

She also touched on bridesmaids who are expected to wear the same dress and have their hair styled the same way. Instead, O’Connor said asking bridesmaids to pick a dress they are comfortable in while matching in color is a better option.

She said “personalized merch” that features the groom’s face is “cringe,” while having a party for each and every moment leading up to the wedding is excessive.

“I think engagement party, bachelorette, wedding, that’s plenty,” O’Connor said.

Rethinking Expectations

O’Connor also suggested that weddings held on holiday weekends may be financially difficult for some guests who need to fly in for the celebrations.

Alexis Eliopoulos O’Mara, master wedding consultant with Unique Weddings by Alexis, told Newsweek in an email that couples planning their wedding may rethink their expectations when it comes to participating in the many trends.

She said couples should tell their wedding party that they are not obligated or expected to attend each and every event, and it would be a good idea to host some of these events locally.

“If the couple lives in Boston, has bridesmaids in California and family in Chicago, they can consider having an engagement party in one city, a shower in another city and a bachelor/bachelorette party in a third city,” O’Mara said.

She also pointed out that one trend that’s becoming more popular among couples is for a bride to choose a color and fabric for her bridesmaids but leave her bridal party to choose what they want to wear.

O’Mara said grooms do the same with suits or tuxedos, which allows members of the wedding party to wear something they are comfortable wearing. And, it gives them the option of re-wearing the garment.

O’Connor told Newsweek in an email that she has personal experience with seeing popular wedding trends, though some of these celebrations were expensive and required attending “far too many” events.

“I was reflecting on my times being a bridesmaid and just blindly agreeing to our friends’ wishes because we love them and want them to feel special,” O’Connor said. “But usually this is at the expense of losing tons of [personal time off], free time and money in the process.”

She said many of the trends that she mentioned weren’t bad at one point in time, but they’ve since been overdone and it is time to introduce new ideas for wedding celebrations.

Some brides, O’Connor said, may be planning a wedding with a “pre-COVID mindset.”

She said it may have once been acceptable to ask friends to take an out-of-state vacation for a bachelorette party and a wedding, but there are new factors that many guests and members of the wedding party now consider, including COVID, the recession and becoming “homebodies.”

In addition to the trends she shared in the video, O’Connor said she also agreed with a commenter’s opinion that robes, t-shirts and other items with the word “bridesmaid” are outdated.

“While the intention is sweet it ends up just creating waste because no one is ever going to wear it again,” O’Connor said.

Celebrations for bachelor and bachelorette parties have become more extravagant over the years, and O’Connor said many viewers in the comments called for these parties to be limited to one night instead of an entire weekend.

“I just think it’s important to consider everyone in the group and their financial situations before you make any big plans and give people grace if they can’t meet you where you’re at,” she said.

TikTok Reacts

Many viewers echoed her sentiments in the comments section.

“Give your out of state bridesmaids a break,” a viewer wrote. “Just because the wedding/bachelorette/bridal shower are local to you doesn’t mean it’s local for them.”

“Finally someone mentioned all the parties,” another viewer said. “It’s so overdone.”

“Holiday weekend weddings are a CRIME,” one viewer commented. “Thank you for saying it. Too expensive and I probably have to cancel my plans I actually want to go to.”

While her video focused on trends that were on their way out, O’Connor shared some wedding trends she enjoys.

“I love any wedding that highlights the bride and groom’s personal style,” she said. “The more kitschy and unique to you the better.”

O’Connor also said she likes instructing guests to keep their phones away as the bride is walking down the aisle, an outfit change for a bride to wear something more comfortable to the reception and playing music that the happy couple enjoys rather than family-friendly music to please the crowd.

Many other videos have sparked conversations as it relates to weddings.

A clip showing an unconventional cake topper split viewers’ opinions, while another video showed a wedding guest wearing a sweatshirt and sweatpants.

One video sparked a conversation about children at weddings after it showed kids jumping around a couple having their first dance.