A woman has been bashed for bringing her disabled boyfriend to her brother’s “no plus one” wedding
Published on Reddit’s r/AmITheA****** forum, a woman under the anonymous username u/Flower534724 shared her story in order to receive feedback from the “AITA” community. The popular post has received over 9,000 upvotes and 3,000 comments.
The original poster (OP) began her story by explaining that her brother recently got married. However, the conflict began when she received her invitation to the wedding in the mail. On the invite, they mentioned that there was a strict “no plus one” rule and she was not allowed to bring her disabled boyfriend, who is in a wheelchair.
OP was upset by this as she believes that her boyfriend is family and that she was his primary caregiver and wouldn’t be able to find the care he would need.
Above, a man and a woman exchange rings at a wedding. Published to Reddit’s r/AmITheA**hole forum, a woman has been bashed for bringing her disabled boyfriend to her brother’s “no plus one” wedding.
Виктор Высоцкий/iStock / Getty Images Plus
On the day of the wedding, she decided to take him to the wedding and wrote that her brother and his wife were “livid” and started an argument.
“My brother said some hurtful stuff but I was glad he didn’t say it [in front] of my boyfriend. I told him it’s not like my boyfriend was making a fuss or being distracting (he just remained quiet and respectful of everyone around him) my brother argued that non of that matter and that the trust and respect he had for me was gone the minute I decided to stomp on his wedding boundaries and override the rules,” OP wrote.
Since the wedding, she tried to get in contact with her brother, only to receive texts from his wife to stop calling.
Newsweek reached out to u/Flower534724 for comment.
Newsweek has published several articles regarding weddings including brides who reveal what they wished they knew while wedding planning, a wedding guest’s outfit that was deemed “totally inappropriate” and a guest stirring debate by wearing a white dress to a wedding.
“Plus one” rules and tips
Rachel Silver, founder and CEO of Love Stories TV, told Newsweek about some rules and tips revolving around bringing a plus one to someone’s wedding.
Silver explained the people who normally get a plus one:
- Guests who are married, engaged or live together
- Members of the bridal party
- Guests traveling from out of town
- People whom the couple wants to show a level of respect who won’t know anyone at the wedding (example: a boss).
“You want your guests to enjoy themselves and be comfortable at your wedding, so these +1 rules are in place to help make that happen,” Silver said.
Silver also gave some tips on how to state a plus one invite on the wedding invitation. Instead of putting “+1” next to the guest’s name, put the name of the guest’s significant other so that just in case something happens in their relationship, that guest can’t invite someone new.
“Now, on the other hand, if you receive a wedding invitation that does not have a +1 on it, you should not bring someone without telling the couple. Even if they were ‘wrong’ not to give you the +1, two wrongs don’t make a right,” Silver explained, suggesting the person talk to the couple in hopes they will be understanding.
“[You’re the a******] not only did you go against a rule, you attempted to use your bf’s disability to get your way. You should be ashamed,” u/lexiplays said, receiving the top comment of over 30,000 upvotes.
U/DuckDodgers wrote, “Guy in a wheelchair here, although I’m fully self sufficient. This makes me feel for your bf. Not only did you disrespect your brother’s wishes, you made your boyfriend the center of more attention than was warranted.”
“You say he remained quiet and respectful. He probably was quiet because he wanted to crawl under a rock. ‘Hey, look at me!! I’m the cause of strife at a wedding through no fault of my own!!’ [You’re the a******],” the commenter continued.
“[You’re the a******] He said no plus ones. If you found that disrespectful to your relationship or simply impractical, then your option was to decline your invitation and stay home, not have your boyfriend crash the party because you decided that wouldn’t be overly disruptive,” u/mm172 explained.
“[You’re the a**hole] Your invitation didn’t include a plus one. The fact that your SO is a wheelchair user isn’t relevant. Your perception of your SO being family is not relevant. You should have remained home with your SO if you couldn’t arrange for a caregiver,” u/mrslII commented.
Has a wedding come between your relationship with a loved one? Let us know via email@example.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.