Would You Invite Your Unsupportive Sister to Your Wedding?

By: Elizabeth Ervin
| Published:
March 6, 2023

Recently, a woman we’ll call Sarah got engaged to her partner of six months named Derrick. Sarah understands that six months is a short time to get to know someone, let alone to fall in love.

However, Sarah believes they are “madly in love and ready to commit ourselves to each other fully.”

Sarah’s older sister disapproves of the union between Sarah and Derrick. Although before their engagement, her older sister was supportive of their relationship.

The change of heart seemed to occur after Sarah shared the news, despite her sister responding with “Congratulations.” They finally met a week after Sarah informed her sister of her engagement.

The Conversation Between Sisters

When they did, it was apparent that her sister disapproved of their union. Sarah’s sister told her she was “young and could meet people she loved more.” Sarah felt offended because she loved Derrick, and it was as if her sister told Sarah she didn’t know what was best for herself.

She went as far as to tell Sarah she needed to “strongly consider the marriage.” Sarah walked away from the conversation with her sister feeling hurt.

Finally, after some time, Sarah approached her sister directly and asked, do you support me marrying Derrick?” Without hesitation, her sister said no. And Sarah responded by suggesting that she not attend the wedding if she didn’t support their coupling, then left.

Sarah confided that she had not spoken to her sister since then. However, her sister has made several attempts at communication. Sarah and Derrick recently worked on the big day’s guest list.

The question arose if they should invite her sister to the wedding ceremony; they both agreed they shouldn’t. Sarah spoke to one of her friends and mentioned that she was not asking her sister to the wedding.

Her friend pointed out how this may have been a little rude. So Sarah asked the internet how they felt. Here is how the internet responded.

One Suggested It’s Infatuation and Not Love

“You have not known him long enough to love him, and you are infatuated. On top of that, you are ready to ruin the relationship with your sister for a guy you do not know.”

Another replied, “Someone who’s 30 should/would understand that a six-month relationship jumping to marriage is odd.”

You Both Sound too Childish to Get Married.

“A mature 30-year-old would say, she’s your sister; she has a right to be concerned. She doesn’t understand our relationship. Instead, he’s quick to jump on isolating you from your family train, which is concerning.

Your sister being concerned isn’t toxic or unusual; any adult would see that. However, they both sound childish and not ready for marriage.”

A Professional Weighed In on the Situation

“I don’t know if your actions were inexcusable per se, but I think you’re being very naïve, and I agree with your sister.”

Others agreed, “Domestic abusers and generally bad people always try and get to marriage as soon as possible, so they don’t have to put up a charming front anymore and much more challenging for you to leave, especially if isolated from caring family members such as your sister.

I work in gender-based violence, and it is super common. The point is all women feel like this before their marriage.”

Finally, One Suggested

“Even if this guy is the love of her life, and they live happily ever after with kids and all that, the sister is still very reasonably expressing concern.

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Of course, it would be great if it all works out between them, but there’s no way to know that, and her sister is trying to protect her.”

What do you think? Is Sarah right for not inviting her unsupportive sister, or do you agree with Reddit that her sister is looking out for her in a just way? This article was inspired by the internet and did not necessarily reflect the views of The Budget Savvy Bride.

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