Would You Let Your Partner Go to a Wedding That You’re Not Invited To?

By: Elizabeth Ervin
| Published:
March 4, 2023

Weddings are a celebration of love and commitment between two people. They are also an opportunity for friends and family members to come together and share the joy of the occasion. But what happens when one partner is invited to a wedding while the other is not?

A woman, whom we’ll call Kate, and her partner, we’ll call Jake, have been in a relationship for four years and consider themselves one of the few long-term couples in their friend group.

Through Jake, Kate met another couple they spent a significant amount of time with, mainly because they lived close to each other for two years.

During the COVID-19 pandemic, the other couple got engaged, and Kate was often at their house during discussions about the engagement and the upcoming wedding.

The Situation Unfolding

Despite being a man, Jake is part of the bridal party member. An initial email about the wedding, which ended up in people’s spam folders, was sent last summer, and her partner forwarded it to her.

However, when she asked him to double-check whether she was invited, he assumed she was but forgot to check formally. This week, the bride sent another email about accommodation for the wedding, which will take place in Scotland.

Jake was invited to stay at a Residence inhabited by the primary duo and their intimate acquaintances and family for the wedding weekend. He asked the bride if Kate could stay with him in his room.

She informed him that there were no plus ones allowed because the building was small, and he would be sharing his room with two other friends.

Jake’s Resolution

Jake immediately booked an Airbnb nearby to ensure that Kate was not alone. However, when he went to inform the bride, he discovered that she wasn’t invited to the wedding.

The news shocked and hurt Kate because she considered herself to have a good relationship with the couple, despite not being best friends. Kate had spent two years thinking she would attend the fun Scotland wedding with her partner and many friends, only to find out this was never the case.

What do you think? Here is how the internet responded.

You’re Not a Plus One

Many people agreed with the sentiment, “You’re not a plus one. You’re an actual person they know. No wonder you’re feeling hurt.”

Is No One Getting Plus Ones?

“Is NO ONE getting a plus one or just this one person? It sucks, but it would feel less targeted if no one got plus ones. I’m pretty sure my husband would bow out entirely if I were not invited.” Another agreed, “Same, and I would do the same for him.”

This Is Tacky

“Tacky is indeed relative. Everyone has their definition. But, sorry, not inviting a partner of four years who is also a mutual friend is THE tackiest thing you can do. I do not understand it at all.”

Someone noted, “Imagine not giving your BRIDAL PARTY plus ones?? Like they will support you nonstop for 12 hours, and you won’t let them bring anyone to support them? Please.”

We Wouldn’t Allow It to Upset Our Relationship

One woman explained, “If my partner and I were in that situation, we wouldn’t go. Bridal party or not, neither of us would allow a wedding to upset either one of us. No, if you’re close to them, they invite you both.

Popular Reading: 63 Smart Wedding Budget Tips to Save Money on Your Big Day

Otherwise, you’re not close enough for either of you to go. Bridezilla at their finest, utterly oblivious to other people’s feelings.”

What do you think? Did Reddit get this right? Would you allow your partner to go to a destination wedding you’re not invited to, despite being involved in conversations for two years?


This article was inspired by the internet and does not necessarily reflect the views of The Budget Savvy Bride.


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