A woman is facing a slew of backlash after telling her fiancé he needed to choose someone else to be his best man.
Posting to the subreddit “r/AmItheA–hole” (AITA) — a forum where users try to figure out if they were wrong or not in an argument that has been bothering them — the bride-to-be explained that her issue with her husband’s best man had to do with gender identity.
In her Reddit post, the woman, 30, wrote that she and her fiancé, Kevin, 28, were originally supposed to get married years ago, but the pandemic pushed back their plans.
Now, their wedding is set for “this upcoming August,” however, Kevin’s best man “is now his best woman.”
She told her fiancé he needs to ‘pick a new best man’ because his friend is transgender.
The bride explained that Kevin and his best friend, Amy, 26, have always had a close bond, and considered each other siblings.
“She’s been very close with him and he’s told me multiple times that she is the closest thing he has to any family,” she wrote of Kevin and Amy’s relationship.
Amy had originally planned on coming out as transgender to Kevin after his wedding, but after learning that the ceremony was being pushed back, she decided to tell him recently.
After the conversation, Kevin assured Amy that she would still have a place as his best man at the wedding.
“Kevin told her that he was fine with all of that and that if she was at a stage [where] she’d like to wear a dress when our wedding happened that he would find her a dress that matched the colors he had for his groomsmen.”
However, the bride-to-be was less than impressed with her fiancé making the decision without consulting her first, and that Amy would be wearing a dress at their wedding.
She acknowledged that she doesn’t “have a problem with Amy” and understands how close she is to her fiancé, but blamed her reluctance on having her “very traditional family” at the ceremony, and not wanting them to feel uncomfortable.
“I know that my family would have a lot of issues with Amy which I’m sure would bring a lot of unwanted or outright rude attention toward her.”
Because of this, she has asked her fiancé to pick someone else to be his best man, and simply have Amy at the wedding as a guest.
Kevin was angered after hearing her request and threatened to “cancel the wedding” if Amy can’t be part of it.
“I’m trying to get him to understand the issues this will cause but I’m not sure he gets it,” she concluded.
A majority of people who commented on the woman’s Reddit post agreed that she was in the wrong.
Multiple Reddit users pointed out that the bride-to-be was complicit in her family’s transphobia, and called her out for being a “coward.”
“This is incredibly transphobic! Amy is his best friend and when your fiancé chooses her as his best man, you have to respect that, and so does your family,” one user wrote.
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“Your family is the problem, not Amy. And you should [have] your fiancé‘s back and support his decision if you want your relationship to last.”
Another user added, “I hope this is the wake-up call that Kevin needs to call off this engagement. I don’t think this is the kind of family he wants to marry into.”
“You’re choosing to cater to your family’s bigotry instead of supporting your fiancé to have someone he considers family as a part of his wedding,” a third user chimed in.
Nia Tipton is a writer living in Brooklyn. She covers pop culture, social justice issues, and trending topics. Keep up with her on Instagram and Twitter.