A mother who wanted all her friends and their respective partners invited to her daughter’s intimate wedding has been dragged online.
In a post shared on Mumsnet Tuesday, the soon-to-be bride, under the username Bells2810, explained that she’s marrying her fiancé in what she hoped would be a very intimate ceremony. However, her mother, who is helping her pay for the wedding, wants a say in the guest list.
According to the post, the couple is planning to get married at a small venue, with an absolute maximum of 50 guests. With their immediate families and friends, the number of guests currently comes to 47 people, a figure they’re quite happy about.
Wedding blog The Knot says that determining your wedding guest list is one of the most important tasks if the most important one itself.
The average wedding size in America is about 105 guests, but it changes depending on location. In the northeast the average number of guests in a wedding is 96, in the mid-Atlantic is 112, midwest 128, south/southeast about 93, southwest 112, and west 90.
Moreover, destination weddings usually have smaller guest counts than hometown weddings. Destination weddings have an average of 72 guests, 54 if celebrated abroad, while hometown weddings have an average guest count of 110.
The bride went on to say that while her parents “kindly offered” to help them pay for the wedding, her mom now wants to invite her own friends and their partners, which would be an extra 14 people and would bring the number of guests way over their agreed maximum of 50.
“My fiancé and I aren’t even inviting all the friends we would have invited in an ideal world because we want to keep numbers and costs down, and we had also wanted to keep it intimate. I’ve tried to explain this to my mum and she keeps bringing up the money,” she said.
Among the 220 comments in the thread, most suggested that money always comes with strings attached. One user, PurpleWisteria, said: “Give the money back to her and invite who you want.”
Neverbeenskiing added: “Tell her that you’re grateful, but you didn’t realize when you accepted her offer that it came with strings attached and you’d rather pay for your own wedding than have a wedding you’re not going to enjoy.”
Saucery wrote: “She either butts out (you’d probably have to give her the money back) or she pays for the next package up (100 guests?) to accommodate all the people she wants to invite.”
Another user, TheMooch said: “I would repeat the limit is 50 guests. If this is still an issue for her and she thinks the money buys her guests then the contribution isn’t accepted. If you want a small wedding that’s what you should have.”
And Slightlystressedbride added: “Sorry to say, but if you don’t give her the money back now and put your foot down, what else is she going to insist upon because she’s paid?”
Newsweek was not able to verify the details of the case.
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A stock image shows a wedding checklist. The internet has slammed a mother who wants her daughter to invite her friends and partners to her intimate wedding, just because she’s helping her pay for it.