A wedding is a beautiful thing. When done correctly, it’s a personal celebration of love; a proverbial fusion of two souls into one.
At its worst, however, it can morph into a money-hungry industry, chasing after every penny in your pocket.
This is largely because there are a lot of outdated and quite frankly superficial customs that have been carrying on for far too long, mainly due to social inertia.
Interested in these cases, Reddit user u/mathsoprano17 posted a question on the platform: “What’s the dumbest wedding tradition?” And they got plenty of replies.
Below, you will find some of the most popular ones that should make you rethink what a typical modern ceremony ought to look like.
Bachelor parties at strip clubs/ Vegas hotel rooms with a private stripper.
Your last hoorah was before you started dating her, not the night before you get married. Stop acting like being faithful is some kind of funeral.
Rehearsal dinners and all the pre-wedding events are b******t. They are unnecessary money spent. If you need to rehearse getting married, then you’ve complicated your damn ceremony. Get engaged, walk up to your fiance/finacee, say “I do”, eat and end the day. S**t.
Expecting your friends to spend thousands of dollars on you with stupid destination bachelor parties, dress/tux rentals, hotels, miscellaneous b******t.
Smashing a cake in the groom/bride face. Seen too many where they really smash them with the cake
I feel like I’m gonna be one of the very few people to think this, but I think the whole ‘be given away at the alter’ thing is weird. When I get married, I’m walking myself down the aisle.
This is probably because I’m just not close with anyone besides my boyfriend (and obviously he can’t simultainiously walk me down the aisle and be at the alter), but I’ve just never liked that tradition.
Color matching outfits for the attendants. Those dresses are always ugly and can never be worn outside the wedding. When I got married, I chose an easy color scheme and told my bride maid and maid of honor to match it with whatever they had. They looked lovely.
Throwing confetti (or rice) at the couple outside the front doors of the church after the ceremony to wish them “good luck.”
The pastor of one church asked those in attendance to “please throw $20 bills instead to spare the sexton a huge clean-up job.”
The bride being expected to wear white. I’ve told people I don’t want a white wedding dress when and if I get married and you wouldn’t believe the looks of disbelief and horror I’ve gotten in return.
I’ve been a bridesmaid in 3 weddings. In all of them, I had to “pair up” with a groomsman, who I was expected to flirt with and “act like a couple” with. This was usually for photos, but also for walking down the aisle. In all three cases, I didn’t know the groomsmen and didn’t appreciate the implication that we were a couple just because we had to walk together down the aisle.
For example, i had to take group photos where the groomsman I was paired with had to dip me and look lovingly into my eyes. I don’t even know that guy’s name. At my sister’s wedding, I had to walk down the aisle arm-in-arm with my brother-in-law’s brother (I was 13, he was 22) and he had to kiss my hand. This was all orchestrated by the mothers-in-law who thought it was precious.
I also had to take pictures where all the bridesmaids would swoon over the groom (and vice versa with groomsmen and the bride), with the implication that we are all jealous that the bride got such a great catch and we wish WE were getting married to him. I was there to support my friend on her wedding day by being her bridesmaid – I am NOT there to secretly undermine her or feel envious.
When I eventually got married, I had a consultation with my photographer. I whipped out these photos and said, ‘I don’t want THAT.’ She laughed and said she hated those too.
Wedding showers. Being a female person, I get invited to a lot of these, and they’re all pretty much the same: sitting around eating finger sandwiches, tentatively sipping white wine, and watching the bride open boilerplate registry gifts and Bed Bath & Beyond gift cards for 3 hours. No thanks.
Maybe this is just me, but the wedding cake.
Over priced, silly, they all pretty much look the same. They’re like 90% frosting, and even if you try to get a nice cake, they taste like sandpaper after the six hours they have to be out to be decorated. No one at the party actually wants to eat it, so you end up with about eighty pounds of left over cake.
My husband and I went to a local cupcake shop and order cupcakes, all different varieties. They were made fresh and decorated the morning of, low on frosting because we asked. We put them nicely on the table and when the party was done, we had boxes for everyone to take some home in. People took them into work or school the next day, and it was like we were sharing our happiness with the whole world.
Apparently there is a weird tradition that it’s bad luck for the bride to walk down the aisle at the rehearsal and some other girl/woman is supposed to walk down and stand with the groom. My wife said “screw that” and walked herself. Why would she want to sit and watch some other girl our age stand up there with me and the preacher the day before the wedding?
Asking the father or the parents for their permission or blessing. I’m not marrying a child here. I’m marrying an adult who can make her own decisions.
Forcing several of your closest friends to spend hundreds of dollars on a dress, or a tux rental, to literally stand in the front of the church with you. Other than the best man and maid/matron/man of honor, there’s no purpose.
If you go casual and let people wear their own stuff, it’s not so bad.
This is a bit late but there is a tradition in Sweden where if the groom leaves the room without the bride every man in the formentioned room is allowed (or have) to kiss the bride.
I would to so far as to say that it’s a bit weird,
Spending tens of thousands of dollars on a stupid ceremony that is nothing but a showboat of gaudy excess and barely anything to do with the relationship.
I’m getting married next month.
I think most of the traditions are dumb.
– I don’t want to do a first dance with everyone staring at me. Awkward and unnecessary.
– I don’t want to take the garter off of her and throw it to some dudes.
– The dollar dance is dumb
– I wish “Give me money” was an acceptable registry for wedding gifts. No, no gift cards. Money. I’ve been hassled relentlessly for months about what gifts I want. I want money because this wedding is expensive. That’s it.
– The tradition of pricing everything up once the word “wedding” is mentioned. Great photoshoot for your family — $300. Wedding photos of the same quality and quantity — $1500. Yeah, I’ll gladly just have friends whip out an iPhone and take pics and edit them myself.
That the brides family should pay for the wedding. I know it’s becoming less common. I have a single mom (dad passed away when I was little) and I know she felt terrible about not being able to contribute more to my wedding. I, knowing my mom has a single income, would never expect my mother to pay for my wedding. I’m not putting down any bride whose family is fortunate enough to pay for their wedding, i just don’t think it should be the expectation anymore. Anyways, we had a beautiful wedding and we paid for the majority of it on our own.
Being expected to have a dance. I hate dancing I’ve never ever liked it (no not even as a child) and basically everyone tells me that ill have fun dancing because it’ll be my wedding day blah blah. Seriously. I always think it’d be fun to go bowling or something but get a third degree burn for not wanting to dance on my wedding day. Maybe the rest of the people there could dance while i enjoy spending time with all the people who came to my wedding
Registering for gifts. Giving gift cards instead of cash, although this applies to more than just weddings.
I mean, we eventually spent the $1200 in Target gift cards, but it would’ve been cool to spend it at other places as well.
For me, wedding itself is a pretty dumb tradition.
You’re going to start a life with your future partner and you toss all you life savings on a one night celebration.
The idea of throwing a party for gazillion people, because ‘they are family!’. No, if I haven’t seen them for last 20 years they are not. The whole general social concept of a modern wedding is just stupid. People spending much more they can afford on one night, that is stressful and makes them hate each other and scream at each other. Blah.
Brides jumping into water with their wedding dress on.
You could drown idiot!
All the flowers arrangements. I have been to so many weddings where there are amazing, expensive displays on all the tables, down the aisle, etc. etc. It’s a lot of money to spend, and totally not worth it (put it toward the food!). Though it can be amusing to see people fight over them once the event is over.
Just had my wedding back in May. It was AWESOME because if I don’t know you, or talk to you, or visit you, and you don’t know my birthday, where I work, that I’m even engaged, what state I live in… no, I’m not inviting you. Sorry.
My best friend got married over the weekend. I didn’t get to see or talk to her at all during the reception because they were stuck walking around talking to extended family. F**k that noise. I wanna get wasted and dance. It’s a party! She did get a f**k ton of presents though.
The woman buying her dress. I mean why? In theory you will only wear it once. It makes more sense for the guy to buy his tux, there’s at least a chance he’ll wear it again.
Inviting people you don’t like, who you never see and have a greater than 50% chance of ruining the event.
Then paying $250 a head for the privilege.
The over the top spending in general. I’m now divorced; however, when I got married… I was excited to BE married… I wasn’t excited to GET married. I think there’s too much of an emphasis on rings, gowns, and impressing all of your guests. I walked into the bridal shop, tried on ONE dress, and said “Ok, good to go!” I believe it was maybe $250. We ordered our rings off of Amazon for probably $50-$75 each, at the most.
A wedding should be about celebrating a commitment to one another, not spending a down payment on a house to throw a party, in my opinion. This holds true, especially, for those people that spend money they don’t have on it. I could have just walked down to the courthouse with my ex and been just as happy. I would rather have the money to save for a home for a future family or a college fund for future kids than on a single day of my life.
Getting married after just a year of dating.
That’s a lifetime commitment, you gotta be SURE you’re ready.
Personally, I’ve always thought that it’s pretty dumb that some people have to invite their parents’ friends and coworkers who they don’t know to their wedding just because their parents are paying for it and want to host their friends. Host your friends at your own party, mom.
Buying a ring then struggling to be financially happy
A friend of mine and I argue about this because she did it at her wedding and I had never seen it before, but apparently it’s very common and popular.
The unity sand bottle thing. It’s just extra time in the ceremony. I asked her what they did with it and apparently it was just put in some box somewhere.
Just about all of it. I have very little concern for standard traditions. I pick the ones I like. We celebrate Halloween and kinda celebrate Christmas but thats about it. Even Christmas we don’t get a tree, we get one big present each and take a vacation.
For our wedding we basically just through a party. No one brought gifts they all just brought a bottle of liquor and we got a keg. We invited all our friends and immediate family and just ignored all the stress and flare of organizing a wedding and making sure people do certain toasts and dances at particular times. just have fun.