Over on Reddit’s “Am I The A–hole” subreddit, one woman came to seek advice about her fiancé’s height insecurity and their upcoming wedding.
The subreddit is a place where users ask strangers to vote on who was in the wrong in a situation that is causing them stress in their lives.
She began by describing that his height had “always been a source of insecurity for him.”
The preparation for any wedding brings unique stress from dealing with in-laws to having to write a speech. But this one woman’s wedding prep brought up a long-held issue in her relationship.
Her fiancé asked her not to wear heels to her wedding.
She was confused when her fiancé asked if she would wear flats at their wedding and says he “went on a rant about how doesn’t want to be made fun of [at] his own wedding,”
“If I choose to wear high heels then we will look ‘awkward’ in the photos and infront of the guests,” the bride-to-be recalled him saying.
She ended the post by adding a few notes on how this issue had come up before in their relationship. The fiancé had never asked her to wear flats before then, and he would sometimes refuse to go to events if she appeared taller.
She refused to wear flats.
The OP’s [original poster] fiancé was furious with her decision to wear high heels. He accused her of prioritizing a pair of shoes over his happiness.
She says he even got his mother involved.
“When I refused to discuss it she said that my unwillingness to cooperate is a huge indicator of my level of maturity,” the woman wrote.
“She then went on a long rant about what lengths ‘real wives’ are willing to go to to help out their husbands and said that I’m apparently too immature and shallow to be committed in a marriage if I make such an issue out of it.”
Many folks in the comments suggested he wear platforms specifically designed for men to put under their shoes.
One user brought up the point that the fiancé of the OP in this situation expects the woman to cater to his needs, “The main problem I have with this post is that her male fiancé expects the women in his life to solve his problems.”
They continued by emphasizing a way to solve the problem, “When right here you have a great solution for him that he could probably figure out if he spent any minor amount of time researching this shit for himself,”
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“I am so tired of women having to compromise so the men in their lives have their fragile egos tucked in shredded paper and gossamer wraps,” an interesting analogy that the commenter ended with.
Another commenter had a few words about the relationship itself, “Neither of you seen particularly invested in the other’s feelings and you don’t appear to have tried to compromise of which there are many…”
Taylor Haynes is a writer based in Chicago. She writes for News & Entertainment at YourTango. You can find her on Instagram.