What do we love more than a celebrity wedding? Celebrity wedding drama, of course. Sleb Safari’s not talking about a last-minute cancellation or any ‘left at the altar’ unkindness (which in the long-term proves to be a kindness), just plain old ructions of the rich.
And so, without further ado, pop your fascinator on and let’s turn our attention to the wedding of one Brooklyn Beckham, heir to the Beckham (purple velvet) thrones, and his beloved Nicola Peltz, heiress to the Peltz billions. This was a couple who had their extracted wisdom teeth cast in gold and upcycled into his and her necklaces so their wedding wasn’t going to be low-key.
The couple married at one of the Peltz family estates in April of last year in a sunset ceremony attended by the great and the good from the overlapping worlds of business, sport, fashion and entertainment. Plus the Spice Girls. Vogue used lots of superlatives to describe the day; everyone was happy and The Beckham-Peltzs settled into married life with Brooklyn laser focused on learning his trade as a chef by experimenting in their kitchen while his wife filmed his masterclasses for the masses.
We’re a month shy of the couple’s first anniversary – congratulations you two! – and news has leaked that Nicola’s billionaire father is suing one set of wedding planners he had hired and they’re suing him right back.
Daddy Peltz alleges the wedding planners didn’t return a $159,000 deposit while they in turn are seeking damages for breach of contract. The planners were reportedly hired less than two months before the wedding to pick up where another company had left off and it’s been claimed they stuck it out for nine days before being replaced by someone else who then had the unenviable task of tackling a 500-strong guest list, creating a “water dance floor” and everything else that went into a day of superlatives that is said to have come in at $3 million.
One of the fun claims reportedly contained in the planners’ court documents is that Nicola’s mum didn’t want Daddy Peltz to find out they were spending $100,000 on hair and make-up. Sleb Safari can see how that might be difficult to explain when Kirby clips really aren’t expensive but with a $3m budget would Daddy Peltz really get hung up on $100k? Another fun claim was that no matter what, Victoria Beckham wasn’t to find out that things weren’t running smoothly.
The whole thing sounds like it was an absolute stress-fest for all involved, except Victoria who should be thanking them for their unintentional kindness. It was of course the wrong decision because had the Peltzs involved Victoria she would have rounded up the Spice Girls and they’d have karate chopped and cajoled that wedding into shape in record time. Mel C could have lent Nicola a white tracksuit, the bride and groom would have been ferried up and down the aisle atop London taxis and Geri would have tried to pinch Daddy Peltz’s bum. Wait one minute; has Sleb Safari just come up with the plot for Spice World: Part Deux? Why yes, it believes it has.
The true cost of Brexit
Anton Du Beke
LEAVE it to a Strictly Come Dancing pro-turned-judge to reveal the true cost of Brexit.
Speaking to The Times about dancing, dictating his novels and dad-ing twins, Anton du Beke explained exactly what cost Brexit has had on the juggernaut that is the Strictly Live tour.
“Let me tell you what Brexit did — it stopped us getting the Strictly trucks from Belfast over the border to Dublin because it was too expensive,” Anton said.
Has London apologised to Dublin for this yet, that’s what Sleb Safari wants to know.
Interior Design Masters is back
If you like to watch a programme where someone says “I designed this room to reflect elements of my own personality” only for a judge to walk in 30 minutes later and question every last element of that room then Interior Design Masters is the show for you.
It’s on BBC1 at 8pm every Tuesday and in tried and tested fashion brings 10 competitors together for a series of challenges, eliminating one or two every week until one exhausted and talented individual is crowned the winner.
Alan Carr holds the presenting reins and Michelle Ogundehin is head judge. See you on the sofa at 8pm on Tuesday for episode two.
Social Media Smut